100 Funniest Tweets of 2022 (Part 2)
At the time of writing, we’re in the tinsel-strewn hinterland between Christmas and New Year.
The air is heavy with the dread of leftovers. The remaining mince pies are straddling the slight staleness of the pastry and the vaguely alcoholic over-ripe fruit that might be one step too far for your beleaguered belly.
You may have no idea which overflowing bin to put out, or when to do it – but you can be sure that the next 50 tweets are pretty special examples of what funny tweeters can come up with, and these are all the pick of the 2022 crop.
Funny tweets of the year, part two – 51 to 100.
51.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? pic.twitter.com/7Ui8dRqrBS
— yeah ok (@poutinesmoothie) June 5, 2022
52.
Hold a buttercup up to someone's neck to see if they like sitting next to you on that bus
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 🇺🇦 (@craiguito) June 6, 2022
53.
You thought you were having a bad day? My cat can see part of the bottom of one of her food bowls
— Lord Ho Ho Ho Mungus (@PoodleSnarf) June 7, 2022
54.
I propose a show called GOTH ISLAND where sad beautiful types with unwashed but nonetheless gorge tangled hair, float around a draughty vicarage in huge black overcoats and mucho eyeliner, reading Voltaire and Emily Dickenson and falling VIOLENTLY IN LOVE with each other
PLEASE— Marian Keyes (@MarianKeyes) June 16, 2022
55.
Stop referring to yourself as alpha. You’re not a wolf, you’re an office manager.
— Busty the Snow Ma'am (@Mom_Overboard) June 21, 2022
56.
I've run the numbers, and a seven nation army could definitely hold Jack White back. I mean, like, embarrassingly easily. Just two low-ranking foot soldiers with a baton of some kind would get the job done.
Talking out of his arse.
— Jason (@NickMotown) June 27, 2022
57.
i love that bands still pretend to leave before their encore. like peekaboo for adults
— oatmeal influencer (@acechhh) June 26, 2022
58.
You shoulda seen the size of the COMPUTER!!! pic.twitter.com/mBcAOtMLRG
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) June 27, 2022
59.
back in the 80's, we simply didn't have the dog technology we do today pic.twitter.com/vN9spNBTN2
— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) June 29, 2022
60.
New York · Paris · Weatherfield pic.twitter.com/311OgDNVLP
— 🇬🇧📺 Classic British TV 📺🇬🇧 (@Classicbritcom) July 4, 2022
61.
Dog owners be like this is Spike he’s a purebred pedigree worth $13 000 and cat owners be like this is Lord Theodore Willis The Third he’s orange and we found him in an alley
— ollie wolly (@bohemianuwus) July 17, 2022
62.
but…..but I don't need to go? pic.twitter.com/qNPNYzCM1v
— camille pagliacci (@tubbsOreally) July 20, 2022
63.
Vampires are probably the least scary monsters. “The sunlight kills them and they’re extremely allergic to garlic” am I supposed to be afraid of that? This is like the instructions you get when dogsitting a 17-year old Pomeranian
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) July 21, 2022
64.
New Telegraph columnist pic.twitter.com/KT1CZvWHxu
— Robert Wilfort (@robertwilfort) July 26, 2022
65.
That's the noise I make when I twang my nipple on the doorframe. pic.twitter.com/wsrY0vdh0X
— Hannah O'Hanrahahanrahan (@buntyhoven) July 25, 2022
66.
By age 30, you should have lower back pain, one failed relationship that almost broke you and a constant sense of dread about where society is headed.
— rabhinder kannan (@rabhinderkannan) August 2, 2022
67.
This is why they will never let the scottish name Bond girls. pic.twitter.com/YDMpp4lMsU
— Alf (Christmas Single out Now!!!) (@whoelsebutalf) August 10, 2022
68.
Dolly Parton wrote “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” on the same day and I’ve been “getting ready to put away laundry” for the past five or six days.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 9, 2022
69.
Mix things up by putting framed quotes meant for the kitchen into the bathroom pic.twitter.com/r6nDfCWPFi
— Rachel Figueroa 🐝🐝🐝🌻🌻🍄 (@Jewyorican) August 15, 2022
70.
I’m not saying this clock the wife got from Kmart is shit, but the alarm didn’t go off this morning and the time is now 9:77 pic.twitter.com/fORGAUyhGw
— Liam Sheedy (@Sheeds1984) August 14, 2022
71.
imagine a crab coming out of the sea pressuring you to kiss a girl you just met two days ago in a jamaican accent
— bbqueen (@ngocbbuii) August 17, 2022
72.
Incredible that "the elephant in the room" means the thing no one is talking about. If I saw an elephant in a room I would bring it up almost immediately.
— Alasdair Beckett-King (@MisterABK) August 21, 2022
73.
My neighbour explaining to me the correct way to get the cat in the carrier pic.twitter.com/zevCYYrB97
— katkin💙 (@katkin20) August 22, 2022
74.
Was Flushing Meadows named after W C Fields?
— Graeme Garden (@GraemeGarden1) September 6, 2022
75.
So Ariel has never seen anything as wondrous as a fork, but her dad is King Triton? Okay.
— Jon Schroeder (@RegularSizedJon) September 5, 2022