100 Funniest Tweets of 2022 (Part 2)
76.
If Lionel Ritchie ever became bankrupt do you reckon he’d change his name to Lionel Poorie?
— Rosie Jones (@josierones) September 12, 2022
77.
The difference between a moist delicious pot roast and a dry inedible one is 2 soap operas and a nap.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) September 12, 2022
78.
she’s a 10 but Excel thinks she’s October
— sophie (@netcapgirl) September 12, 2022
79.
They’re really running out of ideas in this franchise pic.twitter.com/geru7zuMAl
— Dr Adam Rutherford (@AdamRutherford) September 20, 2022
80.
Make sure your child is an annoying hipster from birth with this wooden espresso machine. pic.twitter.com/CHKbyAqpqT
— Dino Sofos (@dinosofos) September 22, 2022
81.
Before a PhD: I don’t know.
After a PhD: That is outside the scope of my current knowledge.
— Saahir Shafi, PhD (@saahirshafi) September 19, 2022
82.
I’ve just heard someone describe IKEA as the “Swedish divorce maze”. Absolutely tremendous.
— Josh Jeffery (@JeffCarnage) September 23, 2022
83.
hard to imagine a more embarrassing death than being beaten with a candlestick in a library by someone named colonel mustard
— fredesque (@FredTaming) September 26, 2022
84.
Cute animal videos may be turning me vegetarian. Off the menu so far: donkeys, sugar gliders, and bumblebees born without wings.
— Annie Hatfield (@AnneHatfieldVO) October 3, 2022
85.
My dad in 1990: You can't believe everything you read. Think and figure things out for yourself
My dad in 2022: Joe Biden is 3 lizards in a trenchcoat
— Inspirational Templates (@mynamehear) October 2, 2022
86.
Celebrities are like we’re just like you then they name their kids Fruitcake and Archipelago.
— 🎄 Andi 🎄 (@smiles_and_nods) October 3, 2022
87.
An interesting development in the Kim <> Kanye saga pic.twitter.com/oN2Ktmb0c3
— Kristen (@kristenstockdal) October 5, 2022
88.
SCAM ALERT – IMPORTANT
The cat has already been fed.
— Lev Parikian (@LevParikian) October 8, 2022
89.
Did you know? If you unravel the entire human digestive system and lay it in a straight line – you lose your job at the mortuary
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) October 8, 2022
90.
Me: *shows up to a gala in my pajamas*
Host: That’s not what I meant by evening wear.
— Lindsay (@Rollinintheseat) October 10, 2022
91.
Being a toddler must be wild. Imagine thinking your own mother is trying to poison you when they give you a homemade vegetable quesadilla then going and eating the dirt out of a potted plant instead.
— An Apple Hat (@AnAppleHat) October 20, 2022
92.
If by yoga you mean reaching the outlet to plug in my charger without getting out of bed, then yes, I do yoga
— One Awkward Mom (@oneawkwardmom) October 16, 2022
93.
Pitch: Netflix Lite
Free subscription Netflix with all the thumbnails and descriptions, but not the actual shows. For those people who like to spend 90 minutes looking for something to watch, but eventually decide to go to bed instead.
— Matthew Highton (@MattHighton) September 15, 2022
94.
Me: why does my back hurt all the time?
also me sleeping every night : pic.twitter.com/Kaq8A1Kwkk
— Chucky ( OFFF) (@mickeywon234) October 26, 2022
95.
First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy lol
First night as a vampire hunter: oh no
— Russian Sausage Tycoon Warren G. Harding (@PopeAwesomeXIII) October 26, 2022
96.
So sweet. A lady on the 22:40 to Alicante has just had such a surprise. She sat down and her son walked out the cockpit, in full pilot’s uniform. To say she was shocked was an understatement. Mainly because he’s a bricklayer. Anyway, severe delays while the police arrest him.
— Stansaid Airport (@StansaidAirport) October 29, 2022
97.
Devil on my shoulder: Eat that entire bucket of chicken
Devil on my other shoulder: But peel the skin off and wear it on your face first
— Bathtub Jin (@EdgarPoop1) October 31, 2022
98.
8 to TWO HUNDRED characters! ‘Yeah the password is nice and easy to remember, it’s the entire cast of Driving Miss Daisy and then their ages starting with the most senior.’ pic.twitter.com/zchWqVRdf2
— Mark Watson, from The Company (@watsoncomedian) November 6, 2022
99.
Flat Earthers think when a ship’s mast gradually disappears below the horizon it’s a trick like when a dad goes behind a sofa and pretends to be walking down some stairs.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) November 14, 2022
100.
Just found out husband has been getting toddler to listen to Tom Waits by telling him it's the Cookie Monster
— Kate Havard Rozansky (@KateHavard) December 5, 2022
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100 Funniest Tweets of 2022 (Part 1)
Image @robertwilfort