These 19 brutal scammer shutdowns are very funny and supremely satisfying

The best we can manage when we are unexpectedly bothered by a scammer is a mumbled ‘no, thanks, sorry, bye’ before abruptly ringing off.

We’ll think of a good comeback 10 minutes later, but by then the moment has passed.

But this need never happen again after people shared the favourite things they tell scammers before hanging up.

And what an Aladdin’s Cave of takedowns it turned out to be. Here are our 19 favourites.

1.

‘I used to get a lot of “home security” calls offering alarm systems and cameras.

‘ I would of course ask all the curious questions and then lead them to believe I was using the alarm system and cameras to keep people inside the house.’
d_hens

2.

‘I ask them to confirm my information for security purposes. Breaks their script and they don’t know what to say!’
hitforhelp

3.

4.

‘I’ve put them on hold before. As if I’m working in a call centre. Had a guy on hold for 5 or so minutes it was quite ridiculous that he stayed on the line.’
blaedmon

5.

‘I take a deep breath and let out a continuous raspberry. (fart noise with your tongue) for as long as I can.

‘When I stop to take a breath I usually here “..uh.. hello?” And then I take a big breath again and continue. No one has made it to two full raspberries before hanging up on me.’
DasMess

6.

“Oh hang on, let me get the <wife/husband/parent/appropriate decision-making figure>, they’ll be able to help you!”

‘Then just turn the microphone off and go about my day.’
alexandicity

7.

‘I give them a phone number one digit at a time and ask them to repeat it as a whole after each one. Then tell them they got it wrong when I’m done and start over.’
Lakanooky

8.

“So, what is your password?” “Kyarewthu. Big K, small cyrylic Ya, Polish ew, Icelandic eth, Turkish dotless i. No bot will ever brute force this.”
Odin_Allfathir

9.

“Just to let you know, by law I’m required to inform you that this is a premium phone line that will be billed directly to your provider. By calling here you agree to accept all charges.”

‘Something like that not only gets them to hang up, but they tend to stop calling me after that.’
Nethervex

10.

‘My dad used to get a lot of Viagra salesman. So he pleads with them to stop sending free samples because he’s too hard all the time and can’t live his life.’
anusthrasher96