Trump: The Taliban don’t fight at night because they don’t have binoculars
In today’s episode of ‘Trump Must be a SNL Character, Surely?‘, we present to you not one, but two – TWO – astonishing theories from the artist formally known as ‘Mr. President, please don’t drink that bleach!’
Trump: They are very good fighters, the Taliban but they never fight at night because they don’t have binoculars. pic.twitter.com/AvNsKL9RGo
— Acyn (@Acyn) January 28, 2023
They are very good fighters, the Taliban but they never fight at night because they don’t have binoculars.
We have given them brand new, thousands of binoculars, better than what we have.
As election campaigning goes, it’s not immediately obvious how it’s supposed to connect with …well, anyone other than The Campaign to Retrieve Taliban Binoculars, which has a membership of two, maybe three thousand at most.
The US did leave behind equipment, including night-vision goggles, but there are no American troops in Afghanistan, so we’re not sure what point he’s trying to make.
We’re not convinced he knew, either.
Trump surrendered to the Taliban.
And now we find out they didn’t have binoculars? https://t.co/zEIs0VpZqB
— 44 LIGHTS 🇺🇸 (@LSTrip44) January 29, 2023
The man who claimed to know more about warfare that his generals actually said this. You have to admit, pretty consistent with his statement about Putin's "genius" move into Ukraine. https://t.co/NWsNaXVRez
— Luis Moreno (@LuisMorenolg) January 29, 2023
Yesterday during Trumps speech he said "We gave the Taliban brand new binoculars, better than ours," I'm confused wouldn't they be the same if they were ours? FFS, he's a moron.
— Sassy (@BostonianAF) January 29, 2023
Someone, somewhere who gave him a classified briefing about night vision capabilities is holding their head in their hands right now https://t.co/oP8kxWVukT
— southpaw (@nycsouthpaw) January 28, 2023
A very stable genius.😅 https://t.co/bS3OGMAfdM
— LINDZEE (@WVUMAMA2) January 28, 2023
To summarize:
1) Night vision goggles is too complicated for the stable genius, so they said, "Just say binoculars, dumbass."
2) We send all our newest weapons to the Taliban, then our soldiers get the leftovers.
3) How can a human body survive this long without a brain?#GOP https://t.co/ZzV5RwUtGU— 💙🌊 Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🌊🖋️🧫 (@herotimeszero) January 29, 2023
fun fact: same reason I don't work at night https://t.co/D3Cit7EVBE
— Jason Linkins (@dceiver) January 29, 2023
"Everyone knows you can't land on the sun because it's too hot, so in my plan we'll go at night." https://t.co/3qTWByv0NV
— J. Michael Straczynski (@straczynski) January 28, 2023
This hits the nail on the head.
It's so awesome. He just makes the shit up for kicks. "The Taliban don't poop. Did you know that? They don't poop. Their anuses are actually designed differently, so they spend no money on Charmin. It's unblievable. No one wants to talk about that." https://t.co/gIyal7TgBM
— Jeff Pearlman (@jeffpearlman) January 28, 2023
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One Republican voted for Donald Trump to be the Speaker of the House of Representatives
Source Acyn Image Screengrab