Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Welcome to the weekend – more or less – and, depending on where you live, to snowmaggedon.
Unless you have snow angels to make, we assume the weather is keeping you indoors – so it’s the perfect time to get the kettle on and keep your appointment with Twitter’s finest.
1.
“Take a left at the end of this road, straight over at the roundabout, then it’s the second on the right. Can’t miss it mate”. pic.twitter.com/oBsb2jjhSM
— Tashy McTashface (@TashP351) March 6, 2023
2.
I have a place for everything. The floor.
— Emma Beasley🐝 (@JustBeingEmma) March 3, 2023
3.
I could never be a parent. The temper tantrums, the fussy eating, the playground fights. I can't just drop all that and raise a child.
— Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1) March 6, 2023
4.
Darwin. pic.twitter.com/chI4PsVN64
— AskAubry 🦝 (@ask_aubry) March 7, 2023
5.
Every time I see these stickers around town I can't help but think that it sounds like the person got attacked by a bear halfway through typing them out. pic.twitter.com/DnkPydJ1IK
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) March 5, 2023
6.
When you don’t quite make it to the toilet in time pic.twitter.com/2j7zvrZL5d
— Pete Firman (@petefirman) March 9, 2023
7.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
— Amanda Blain ● (@amandablain) March 8, 2023
8.
Science can't explain why your bathroom is at least 9x further away from your bedroom at 1am
— iain (@ACartoonCat) March 6, 2023
9.
You're a disgrace Susan, you disgust me. pic.twitter.com/BARp96mrt3
— jamie (@gnuman1979) March 8, 2023
10.
UK levels of snow severity:
1. Spellbound toddler videos.
2. Cute puppy reaction gifs.
3. Hearty wankers doing outdoor fun.
4. Road & rail transport chaos.
5. School closures.
6. Looting, rioting, cannibalism.
7. Nigel Farage global warming joke.— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) March 8, 2023
11.
Mechanic: Your car's got a flat
Me: It's called a garage— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) March 9, 2023
12.
My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect and for that I am eternally grapefruit.
— Nope, It's Gone (@Joust_A_Minute) March 5, 2023