25 Funny Tweets of the Week
It’s the weekend – or as near as makes no difference – and that means it’s time to sit back for five minutes and see what funny gems we’ve mined from this week’s Twitter.
1.
This is the worst piece of cutlery I’ve ever used in my entire life and I once ate a yogurt with a biro x pic.twitter.com/at70wIp0wf
— Buckers (@deathofbuckley) March 19, 2023
2.
When you've just died on the cross pic.twitter.com/EnlZtMX82D
— C. Buckthorn (@CBuckthorn) March 20, 2023
3.
I had no idea there were FIVE sequels pic.twitter.com/5H5ZZ8om6o
— Felicity Hannah (@FelicityHannah) March 20, 2023
4.
. 20
— LibertyLayne (@LibertyLayne01) March 21, 2023
5.
Very stressful to be in my 30s. Everyone wants to know if I plan on having children. I can’t wait for later decades, when people move on to asking when I plan to die.
— Ginny Hogan_ (@ginnyhogan_) March 21, 2023
6.
Me to myself: This is annoying. This conversation is boring. This person is a moron. I hope I’m hiding it well.
Coworker: You said all that out loud.
— Yard Dad (@IAmYardDad) March 20, 2023
7.
'Pick this shitting Lego up!'
Artist Unknown
c.1650 pic.twitter.com/8yFcwf3Uts— John Smith (@verypopularname) March 23, 2023
8.
Without telling anyone your age, find the song that was no 1 when you were 16 and keep it to your fucking self.
— Ben Affleck’s Existential Fag Break (@bfafleck) March 22, 2023
9.
Remembering the most devastating your mum joke ever written pic.twitter.com/Ok45bde9Fu
— Summer Ray (@SummerRay) March 19, 2023
10.
“Would the right honourable gentleman agree that all postmen should be given a black and white cat?” pic.twitter.com/kgPB13Ywpt
— Rob (@bertnews) March 22, 2023
11.
"Yeah, I used to lie in bed as a kid and think I could hear the Waitrose lorry bringing the artisan cheese down the chimney, but as I got older it became more of a secular festival of own-brand slacks and french kitchen knives…" pic.twitter.com/UZMuL0Twxj
— Stephen McGann (@StephenMcGann) March 22, 2023
12.
Have been researching the 2016 Olympics for almost seven years and can now finally present my findings: pic.twitter.com/XXEEHWIZ8T
— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) March 21, 2023