Simply 19 of people’s favourite one-liners to help take the edge of just a little bit

11.

‘A snake walks into a bar and the bartender asks “how?”‘
TheFlippingFurry

12.

‘What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter.’
gajeeper1992

13.

‘What’s the difference between an owl, a piano, and a fish? You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.’
digitaltravelr

‘What about the owl?’
Riverwood_Chicken_

‘Who?’
digitaltravelr

14.

‘A man goes into the doctor and says “I think I have hearing problems” Doctor: Can you describe the symptoms? Man: Sure! Homers fat and Marge has blue hair.’
Stigofthedumpings

15.

‘Bear walks into a bar and says “can I have a………Coke?” Bartender says “what’s with the big pause?” Bear says “I don’t know, I was born with them.”
N8_Arsenal87

16.

‘2 fish in a tank one turns to the other and says “do you know how to drive this thing”?
Loud-Vacation-711

17.

‘What do you call an indecisive bee?

‘A maybee.’
Pix3lPwnage

18.

‘As Mickey and Minnie were before the judge in divorce court, the judge looked at Mickey and said, “Listen here, Mr. Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie.”

“But why not, Your Honor?” a stunned Mickey asked. “I have reviewed all the information you submitted to the court and I can find no evidence to support the allegation that she’s crazy,” explained the judge.

“Your Honor,” Mickey exclaimed, “I didn’t say she was ‘crazy’, I said she was fucking Goofy.’
TeeTownRaggie

19.

‘3 mathematicians walk into a bar. The barman says “do you all want a beer?”

‘First one says “I don’t know”

‘Second one says “i don’t know”

‘Third one says “yes.”‘
notacanuckskibum

Took us far too long to get that last one, not gonna lie.

Source Reddit u/MrMidnightDiamond Image Unsplash George Bakos