Stop the search – we’ve found the most baffling headline of the year
Sports account SB Nation has taken the old ‘Want to feel old?’ format to extremes with a headline that has had anyone over 20 and not American scratching their head.
We’ll provide a narrative translation.
Livvy (Olivia Dunne), a 20-year-old star gymnast at LSU (Louisiana State University), has allegedly persuaded Baby Gronk (Madden San Miguel), a 10-year-old football prodigy, to set his sights on joining LSU – reportedly by ‘rizzing’ – which means charming someone (from charisma).
This so-called rizzing has set tongues wagging because of rumours regarding Livvy’s interest in LaCrosse player Caleb Hammett – known as Drip King – and because everyone is ignoring the fact that the kid is only 10.
College sports reporters are very, very weird.
We hope that’s clear. It certainly wasn’t to this lot – or us, if we’re honest.
1.
Urgent CT brain please. https://t.co/lvteSndNJ4
— Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) June 7, 2023
2.
every word in this sentence would take four hours to explain to my dad https://t.co/zThIwv12G6
— this dustmop (@dustmop) June 7, 2023
3.
A classics teacher, desperately trying to make Roman history sound relevant. https://t.co/FerYujA5g5
— Joxley (@Mr_John_Oxley) June 7, 2023
4.
imagine thinking the target audience for this tweet uses twitter https://t.co/oWwjJy6Sfg
— Chuck (@defNotChuck) June 7, 2023
5.
Imagine reading this headline 25 years ago. You'd need to dig up some new sorta Rosetta Stone. https://t.co/bWsdlqUB5t
— Garth Iorgy (@GarthIorgy) June 7, 2023
6.
yud's right. airstrike on the datacenters https://t.co/DtC702jr3c
— Nathan Bernhardt (@jonbernhardt) June 7, 2023
7.
i don't understand anything anymore https://t.co/vwQdaYncoh
— Denny Carter (@CDCarter13) June 7, 2023
8.
Somehow every word in this sentence is worse than the one before it https://t.co/OySn76grTb
— John Sigler (@john_siglerr) June 7, 2023
9.
This tweet may as well be in an alien language for me. https://t.co/K1wkblZvDQ
— mike (@ColdSportsTakes) June 7, 2023