25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Welcome to our round-up of the things that have made us laugh this week. We hope you’re enjoying five minutes of peace and quiet while you see if you agree.
Give your faves a follow.
1.
Pour Sriracha and Drano into your worst paper cut. Now imagine that paper cut talking 24/7 about Yellowstone.
Meet my neighbor.
— Bob Phillips (@BobTheSuit) June 20, 2023
2.
Idk who needs to hear this but after 3 consecutive bowls of crunch berries it will look like you've pooped out a Smurf village
— Duchess Anna of Banana 👑🍌 (@duchess_banana) June 22, 2023
3.
I wish other people in my household shared my vision, my spatial awareness, my complex three-dimensional thinking when it comes to loading the dishwasher.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) June 22, 2023
4.
Tories in Power for the last 12 Years. pic.twitter.com/nARAEaYzwt
— Dr. Jennifer Cassidy (@OxfordDiplomat) June 23, 2023
5.
The 3-6 rocking attempts to get off the couch count as crunches.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) June 22, 2023
6.
These colour names are getting ridiculous pic.twitter.com/XNr9pi01JF
— Geraint (@geraintgriffith) June 20, 2023
7.
19 years ago today I married my best friend. The vicar had awful eyesight and we were too polite to point out his mistake. Fiancé was furious.
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) June 22, 2023
8.
"Look I'm painting and blinking at the same time" and other reasons human children don't make it in the wild
— Tori (@ToriTheMom) June 22, 2023
9.
I knocked over a plant in the kitchen but my cat saw me so I had to spray myself with water so I could show the law applies to everyone
— Lord Hugh Mungus (@PoodleSnarf) June 19, 2023
10.
[dining out]
Me: I demand to see the chef. These medallions of boeuf bourgignon are like shoe leather.
Waitress: Sir, this is a Denny's, and those are sausage patties.
— Bri, the Chauffeur (@TheChauffeur3) June 22, 2023
11.
This is what I'm going to do to when I retire. pic.twitter.com/lpBfRsQ6NN
— Henry Jeffreys has a new book coming out in August (@HenryGJeffreys) June 18, 2023
12.
I’m done trying to find love. I’m dropping a size 11 glass slipper in Kohl’s, and seeing who comes a-callin’.
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) June 22, 2023