‘What’s a very British five-word horror story?’ – 21 terrifying tales
The VeryBritishProblems account has great insight into the awkwardness of the stereotypical British character, and they turn it into something very funny.
Ways Brits finish a tea break:
1. “Anyway, better get back to it”
2. “No rest for the wicked”
3. “Right, I shall crack on”
4. “Back to the grind”
5. “Suppose I better do some work”
6. “Here we go again”
7. “This work won’t do itself”
8. “Onwards and upwards”— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 8, 2023
How to buy something in a shop:
1. Enter shop
2. Choose item(s)
3. Go to till
4. Say “just these, please”— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 8, 2023
Order food
Hear driver
Get into position
Doorbell
Pause for three seconds
Open and act surprised!— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 6, 2023
They recently asked tweeters to muse on this –
What’s a very British five-word horror story?
I’ll start:
“Say a bit about yourself”
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 6, 2023
Twitter stepped up. Brace yourselves for the horror.
1.
“Rail replacement bus this way”
— Angry People in Local Newspapers (@angrypiln) August 6, 2023
2.
Mrs Brown's Boys Christmas Special
— Rob Dicken (@1970RobD) August 6, 2023
3.
The tea was too milky.
— Joe (@MrJoeGooch) August 6, 2023
4.
Evri has got your parcel https://t.co/Fkk7EYMGyd
— JJ “Legacy Fan” (@_jj_blue_) August 6, 2023
5.
“You need to phone HMRC.” https://t.co/9MSY3o5iI0
— Stephen Farrow (@stephenfarrow) August 6, 2023
6.
Suella Braverman is still employed https://t.co/9Jk0lxmZTI
— Kevin (@yorkiepud76) August 6, 2023
7.
“ ‘know this country’s real problem?!”
— Jeffw (@Jeffwni) August 7, 2023
8.
Time for an ice breaker. https://t.co/fCVCjV7Xzd
— Robert Macmillan (@robfmac) August 6, 2023
9.
Your delivery has some substitutions https://t.co/N4Ywy5g3bG
— respectfully naughty (c) (@Curious58182076) August 6, 2023
10.
“The queue starts back there.” https://t.co/QO2wgxF79J
— Craig Nikolic (@CraigNikolic) August 6, 2023
11.
Anyone sitting in this seat?
— Bryan Smith #RejoinEU (@BpsmithUk) August 6, 2023