The Empire’s newest tabloid is challenging the Daily Express for its slot on the dark side
We wish we could describe this Daily Express front page as a new low, but it’s just more of the same from the perma-bigoted tabloid.
Daily Express: DEAR FRANCE… FOR £480M CAN YOU ACTUALLY STOP THE BOATS? #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/yDhF6coT5G
— George Mann (@sgfmann) August 14, 2023
Their terrible take was largely treated with the contempt it deserved.
Dear Expiss you wanted control of YOUR borders, now you want France to control your borders.
You Dummies @Daily_Express pic.twitter.com/bVMJPVsB5l
— lucy woods (@LucyWoodslucy70) August 14, 2023
Would the Daily Express also like France to come & wash their arses?
You can’t blame France for the astronomical fcuk up of a backlog the tories have created
Time for the conservatives to take ownership of 13 years of failure#ToryFascistDictatorship #RefugeesWelcome pic.twitter.com/IoK3gvjZMQ
— kerry ✊💙Save Our NHS (@hewitson10) August 15, 2023
Dear Daily Express, how much of the backlog in processing the UK’s asylum claims, which are about half of those received in France, could be sorted out with the £29M that a single Tory Peer grabbed from useless PPE contracts? pic.twitter.com/OPfnT5S9HV
— Alan Lester (@aljhlester) August 15, 2023
For art director and illustrator Chris Barker, the splash was the dark inspiration to create his own Express front pages, but not the Daily Express – something much better.
We have a good feeling about this.
1.
DEATHSTAR EXPRESS: Were rebels to blame for destruction of Alderaan? #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/S13y5W0SQJ
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) August 18, 2023
2.
DEATHSTAR EXPRESS: Coutts to close Tarkin account #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/9ZHGWmJTnc
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) August 19, 2023
3.
DEATHSTAR EXPRESS: Hoth hotter than Tatooine!! #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/Q7jwqcYJnB
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) August 19, 2023
4.
DEATHSTAR EXPRESS: More bank holiday Kessel Run chaos… #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/5wOW1Tm5yP
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) August 19, 2023
5.
DEATHSTAR EXPRESS: Trade deal boost brings business back to Naboo! #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/6nlmSGYLxA
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) August 19, 2023
6.
DEATHSTAR EXPRESS: Vader is more trusted than Kenobi on NHS #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/Zlc1jP9E9h
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) August 20, 2023
7.
DEATHSTAR EXPRESS: Dignified Dedra respects troops as Leia parties with Ewoke pals #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/i2c6aXZdcB
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) August 20, 2023
8.
DEATHSTAR EXPRESS: Galactic exclusive – Pad’s diary bombshells #TomorrowsPapersToday pic.twitter.com/l8otcyY4vf
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) August 20, 2023
Here are a few things people have been saying about the new challenge to the Reach Plc empire.
The Force is definitely strong in this one. Excellent work 🙂 https://t.co/SPsmfjHAuT
— ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ꜱᴛᴀʀ ᴀᴅᴍɪɴ (@DeathStarAdmin) August 19, 2023
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Darth Widdecombe and Emperor Palpatine in the Carlton Club at the same time…🤔 https://t.co/u1AObaYXQS
— Ben Howlett 🇺🇦 (@benhowlettuk) August 19, 2023
10 out of 10 satire. https://t.co/47U0TSSodW
— John Fenna 🎗 (@supersilverfox) August 19, 2023
We can’t argue with this.
When you see how close to a real front page this is, I don't know whether to laugh or cry… https://t.co/fptiRDuhcg
— Alastair Thomson (@FinanceDirCFO) August 19, 2023
If you fancy owning a copy of a Deathstar Express front page, you can buy them from Chris’s Redbubble.
You can also buy his book ‘Brush Strokes: Fine art blended with light entertainment’ or support him via ko-fi.com.
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Image Chris Barker