25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
Thanks heavens the writers strike is over. I need more of the 4 great stories:
1. Middle-aged man is actually a highly trained assassin
2. Yes, Chef!
3. The toy you liked in the 90s had a difficult road to market
4. Ooh, the people who sell Fentanyl aren’t very nice— Dara Ó Briain (@daraobriain) September 26, 2023
14.
These people have *mastered* SEO pic.twitter.com/W2tGInNCrq
— gaut (@0xgaut) September 26, 2023
15.
Autocorrect always tries to correct JFC to KFC. Because who doesn't naturally scream about fried chicken, when being somewhat flabbergasted or expressive in posts?
— Lia L'Assassin ★ Nutcracker Sweet (@Design_Assassin) September 25, 2023
16.
I dunno man, I think if Ariel saw this version of the human world she’d have jumped back into the ocean with or without her mermaid tail
— Sam G (@ItsSamG) September 24, 2023
17.
And to my kids I leave an endless supply of screenshotted recipes that I never made but also refused to delete. With these images I also bequeath a drawer full of condiments and sporks from all the takeout we had instead.
— Maryfairyboberry♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) September 25, 2023
18.
**marked safe from the loose thread I thought was a spider**
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) September 25, 2023
19.
You come to me on this day, the day I got kicked out of church for refusing to remove my Burger King crown.
— FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF (@sofarrsogud) September 24, 2023
20.
God: Give them free will
Angel: Some of them are going to use it to say, “supposably.”
God: You know what? Let’s make a hell, too.
— Bryan With a Why (@doublewenis) September 25, 2023
21.
here is what. i plan to accomplish today:
2. bark loudly. but at nothing
7. lose my ball under the couch
7b. politely ask the human. to get my ball
3. immediately lose it again. under the same couch
4. big nap. you have worked hard
2. repeat— Thoughts of Dog (@dog_feelings) September 25, 2023
22.
…and for my next trick, I will turn yesterday’s sweatpants into today’s sweatpants.
— Kellalena (@topaz_kell) September 25, 2023
23.
Discovered the toddler is using the washing machine drawer as a personal biscuit storage system pic.twitter.com/KcxU7FfTRJ
— Samplo Corvodina (@TreborRhurbarb) September 27, 2023
24.
Posting without comment. pic.twitter.com/dL9XCfOmNF
— Joshua Wickham-Young (@jwickhyoung) September 26, 2023
25.
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Image BBC Weather