25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
It’s Friday, at the time of writing, in a week that felt like it was 90 per cent Monday. But the weekend is almost here and we’ve got some belters from the last seven days of Twitter.
As always, give your faves a follow.
1.
There's no way the duck is going to win. pic.twitter.com/KWY4nXiUMD
— Rachel England (@Rachel_England) September 30, 2023
2.
Hey Hotels! Stop keeping decaf coffee in the rooms. If I’m late and need to rush out the last thing I need is a cup of zero energy water that tastes like the Great Depression
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) October 2, 2023
3.
Leaving hotel: please if possible try not to trash the room like a 70s rock band. But no worries if you do
Leaving airbnb: polish all the floors, bake a cake, and wash the towels/ fold them into cranes
— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) October 2, 2023
4.
the greeks during the trojan war: i hope this horse finds you well
— kim (@KimmyMonte) October 5, 2023
5.
almost the time of year where my mom dips pretzels in chocolate for 3 months straight. nobody eats them. she doesn’t even know why she does it. its just like beavers building dams
— carter hambley (@carterhambley) October 2, 2023
6.
Warning:
This movie contains "Adult Themes" such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) October 4, 2023
7.
A lot is made of the time he thought you can grow concrete, and not enough of how he thinks there is a boss of chickens pic.twitter.com/8fsklghND6
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) October 2, 2023
8.
I think I'd lose respect for Lois Lane if I was Clark, like "c'mon girl these glasses shouldn't be fooling anyone"
Therapist: "please leave"
— Ⓜ️isterD (@MisterD78UK) October 4, 2023
9.
So, do you wash clothes before you
drop them off at a Goodwill donation center mostly to make sure that your DNA won't show up at a crime scene someday or do I overthink things?— Melissa Jean (@MelissaJeanSays) September 29, 2023
10.
Indie bands looking for names could do worse than checking out the spines of the encyclopaedia Brittanica pic.twitter.com/LgRk6fSgvC
— charlie higson (@monstroso) October 5, 2023
11.
ppl that haven't lived in the country don't understand that u will have REAL beefs w specific animals. we had a fox that was scaring deer and ate my sister's rabbit n the night we caught him was like we got Bin Laden
— a sad little man (@DAVIDPLEASESTOP) October 1, 2023
12.
My neighbor just pulled into his driveway with a new washer and dryer and now he’s headed this way …. So this gives me about 4 seconds to dislocate my shoulder.
— Tony P. (@Tbone7219) October 3, 2023