Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Welcome to our weekly round-up of Twitter treasure, lovingly curated for you in the hopes of kicking the weekend off with a few laughs.
If you like them, let the tweeters know.
1.
Dracula is a tragic figure, a European who doesn't like garlic
— Rob Palk (@robpalkwriter) October 7, 2023
2.
Aggressive recipe of the day. pic.twitter.com/mFhY6bhq5Z
— Daniel Holland ॐ (@DannyDutch) October 5, 2023
3.
I refused to add small herons to my aviary. No egrets.
— Bec Hill (@bechillcomedian) October 7, 2023
4.
Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.
— Not Today Eric (@NotTodayEric) October 9, 2023
5.
Who called it “Window to the Womb” and not “A Womb with a View”? pic.twitter.com/GyLSp2zPi4
— Kate Devlin (@drkatedevlin) October 10, 2023
6.
Waiting ten seconds to answer the door when the delivery driver turns up so I don't look too desperate pic.twitter.com/tDN6972iG1
— aah ! so scaRY (@rysharkbait) October 8, 2023
7.
New Riverdance looks shit pic.twitter.com/IXz8n92oOb
— JPC (@jpxan71) October 9, 2023
8.
If they don't sell a Fight Club Sandwich then what are we even doing here? pic.twitter.com/lNieYgVRp5
— Kona Slater (@KonaSlater) October 9, 2023
9.
Fitness tip: you can have a milkshake after you go to the gym and just say it’s a protein shake. Nobody is doing any sort of analysis on the beverage itself.
— The Dad (@thedad) October 9, 2023
10.
Whoever said "If you believe it you can achieve it." never tried leaving the house on time with toddlers.
— Schmuck On A Hot Tin Roof (@SchmuckOnAHorse) October 10, 2023
11.
– i just love autumn. the nights drawing in, pumpkin spice lattes. we can even start the countdown to chri—
– FINISH THAT F**KING SENTENCE STUART, I DARE YOU… pic.twitter.com/BPGeJEBMAb— forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends) October 8, 2023
12.
Airlines are like “okay everyone now that we’re all boarded and ready to take off let’s check to make sure the plane’s okay”
— gianmarco (@GianmarcoSoresi) October 8, 2023