29 frighteningly good Halloween tweets to treat you all
16.
Me: bloody mary…
Me: bloody mary…
Me: bloody m—
Bloody mary: I have a bf
— mike⛧ (discount dracula) (@PhilipJFried) October 14, 2023
17.
going as a sexy sleepytime tea bear for halloween which is redundant because just look at him
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) October 11, 2023
18.
sure halloween is scary but next month we have to have political discussions with our extended family
— trash jones (@jzux) October 23, 2023
19.
Driving in October is so fun because every time my kid yells "spider!" I get to have a little panic attack until I realize he just saw a Halloween decoration
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 5, 2023
20.
If owned an Italian restaurant, in October I would change the menu to say "fettucine afraido" and "garlic dread" and "boocatini". I would go out of business, but it would be worth it.
— Mark Primiano (@Doctor1Hundred) October 8, 2023
21.
vader isn’t real by the way, it’s just anakin dressing up for halloween, hope this helps!
— follow @kaminosdownfall !!! (@kaminosuprise) October 19, 2023
22.
A haunted house but every room is a work cubicle and you're surrounded by coworkers eating yogurt, apples and chips.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 5, 2023
23.
SAVE money on expensive zombie Halloween costumes by simply being in your forties.
— Phlegm Clandango (@Cain_Unable) October 30, 2023
24.
It looks like our local Walgreens is dressing up as Christmas for Halloween.
— Tony P. (@Tbone7219) October 16, 2023
25.
Top Tip: Just one evening of handing out healthy snacks can earn you up to five years of no trick or treaters at all.
— Neil (@_Enanem_) October 31, 2023
26.
A handy tip for tonight's Hallowe'en preparations: remember when carving, that the ratio of a Jack-o’-Lantern’s circumference to its diameter, is Pumpkin Pi.#Halloween2023 #Halloween
— Steve Blair-Witch Project (@UniversalExile) October 31, 2023
27.
I don't have to worry about my kids TP'ing houses on Halloween because apparently none of them know where the spare rolls are.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 31, 2023
28.
One origin of Hallowe'en was the pagan festival of Samhain, a Gaelic word meaning 'sexy nurse'
— Craig Deeley ️ (@craiguito) October 31, 2023
29.
My husband said he wants someone to scare him on Halloween, so I think I’ll tell him I’m starting menopause.
— sixfootcandy (@sixfootcandy) October 30, 2023
Finally – a trick and a treat from Olaf Falafel.
Scary AND Juvenile. Of the many pumpkins I’ve carved since I’ve been a dad, this was the only one they wouldn’t let me leave outside our door pic.twitter.com/HEZoFpNStv
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) October 30, 2023
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