25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) November 9, 2023
14.
I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.
— Cooper Lawrence (@CooperLawrence) November 8, 2023
15.
I’m bringing microwave mashed potatoes to my works Thanksgiving lunch because I dont really like any of my coworkers enough to peel potatoes for them.
— Tony P. (@Tbone7219) November 8, 2023
16.
Hell hath no fury like a toddler who just watched someone else push the elevator button
— The Dad (@thedad) November 8, 2023
17.
Madonna cancels tonight’s show at the O2 Arena due to Caramac being discontinued by Nestle.
“I’m too upset to sing,” she told reporters pic.twitter.com/sygquGNY6Z
— Fake Showbiz News (@FakeShowbizNews) November 8, 2023
18.
Word of the day:
Polymer – Noun – A mermaid with three boyfriends.
— D.N. Schmidt (@Writepop) November 7, 2023
19.
How dare you sit there and chuckle at Snoopy, a decorated war pilot.
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred) November 6, 2023
20.
This is the door-thing of the page of Aquarius. pic.twitter.com/a0YYlsmjs1
— T'Other Simon (@TOther_Simon) November 7, 2023
21.
It’s surprising how many people will say ‘Where’s Wally’ at you if you’re wearing stripes, even if they’re the wrong colour, and stripes have been worn so commonly for so long. Big Wally has really got in people’s heads.
— Mark Watson – you know, from TikTok (@watsoncomedian) November 9, 2023
22.
The Tiger That Kept Coming For Tea. pic.twitter.com/P52xjDnq1n
— Andrew Bailie (@AndyBailieComic) November 9, 2023
23.
— Dr Helen Ingram (@drhingram) November 9, 2023
24.
Take charge of your life and get a home tattoo kit from Amazon. Do you really want a stranger drawing anything permanent on your body?!
— Jono (@whoinvitedjon) November 9, 2023
25.
been making the same muffin recipe forever and tonight I finally remembered it by heart. I can’t express how good it felt to know exactly what to do and how disgusting they tasted because I forgot the eggs.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) November 8, 2023
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25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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