‘What is the joke that you can’t tell people, because you die of laughter?’ 20 suggestions

A Redditor named u/Less-Wind-8270 went to r/AskReddit looking for laughs.

‘What is the joke that you can’t tell people, because you die of laughter?’

They added –

“Mine would be:

A man is sitting at home when he hears a knock on his door. He opens the door and sees a snail in the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says, ‘what the hell was that all about?'”

People flocked to the comments with their favourite jokes – some old, some new, some good and some – quite frankly – terrible. But it takes all sorts …

1.

Father was washing his car with his son. Son says “daddy, why can’t we use a sponge instead?”.
JBB2002902

2.

My mate called in sick to work today.

His boss asked “How sick are you?”

My mate replied “I’m in bed with my nan.”
mentalist1999

3.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman.
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman who?
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into the wrong joke format, the bartender says “Oi, you can’t be here”, the Scotsman says “Well we did knock!”
deathschemist

4.

Calls_Everyone_Benny
Via Freepik

5.

Who’s the coolest guy in the hospital?

The Ultrasound guy

Who takes over when he’s on holiday?

The hip replacement guy
BlueHornedUnicorn

6.

What do you get when you cross an angry sheep with a grumpy cow?

Two animals in a baaaaad mooooood.
rocki-i

7.

How do you make gold soup?

24 carrots.
Helloooooooooooo000

8.

SquidsAlien
Via Freepik

9.

What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her top pocket??

‘Some arsehole’s got my pen!!’
Hasssss93

10.

My therapist says I have vengeance issues

We’ll see about that
craftaleislife