Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
I saw a product for cars today called “Rapid Odor Removal,” and everyone who buys it should be put on an FBI watchlist.
— Jerry Lock (@jlock17) December 5, 2023
14.
nightmares are so embarrassing bro like u literally made up a guy and got scared of him
— thomas (Bad Boy arc) (@perfectsweeties) December 8, 2023
15.
Nobody ever tells you that such a massive part of your adult life will be spent waiting for the only other person in the house to move so you can get to the cupboard you need.
— Jason (@NickMotown) December 5, 2023
16.
If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 5, 2023
17.
As a hard working man who pays my taxes, why shouldn't I ask the dude selling Christmas trees if he could feed me head first through one of these machines & wrap me up tightly inside a net before rolling me down a hill pic.twitter.com/cCVvEKB6xW
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) December 3, 2023
18.
Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.
— SingleBabyMama (@_SingleBabyMama) December 6, 2023
19.
In Sidcup so had to mark the worst name for a restaurant in the UK pic.twitter.com/Ce6JD6dX6M
— Lucie ban woke spoons now (@msloobylou) December 3, 2023
20.
Sometimes the pornbot name generators go awry… pic.twitter.com/Ywz9jxhzKP
— David KC (@DavidMuttering) December 7, 2023
21.
Timely reminder, gents….
Only one shopping day left til Christmas.
24th December. Same as every year
— rab livingstone (@rablivingstone) December 4, 2023
22.
The 5 Most Important Films (and the Life Lessons They Teach)
1. Armageddon (space is scary)
2. Jaws (the ocean is scary)
3. Terminator 2 (the future is scary)
4. My Girl (bees are scary)
5. Weekend at Bernie's (putting sunglasses on a corpse and taking him jet-skiing is fun!)— Sir Michael (@Michael1979) December 4, 2023
23.
A list of words that are older than you think:
8. Fangirl (1934)
7. OMG (1917)
6. Legit (1897)
5. Fake news (1890)
4. Xmas (1755)
3. Hubby (1682)
2. Newfangled (1496)
1. That cheugy simp has no rizz (217 BC)— Adam Sharp (@AdamCSharp) December 6, 2023
24.
Timothy Chalamet as Willy Wonka is interesting. On one hand he looks like he’s never actually had chocolate before and on the other he does look like he would enjoy killing children in creative ways while wearing a goofy outfit
— zach reinert (@zachreinert0) December 4, 2023
25.
I just tossed out "back in my day" and my facebook account reactivated itself and suddenly my pockets are full of werthers
— ' (@BrickMahoney) December 5, 2023
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Image Freepik