People are sharing terrible first dates that were so bad they’re funny – 17 nightmare match-ups

Poke Staff. Updated December 13th, 2023

10.

‘She spent the entire time alternating between making out with me and calling her ex-boyfriend.’
takeahikehike

11.

‘Was drunk, called my date a ‘pussy’ for eating a salad (jokingly, but it wasn’t received well, bad drunk attempt at humour.) I was rude and obnoxious and the waitress even flat out said to my date she was sorry for her.

‘Then my credit card was declined when I went to pay for it because I forgot to make a payment on it, so she had to pay.

‘For some unknown reason, she gave me a second chance when I said sorry about the other night, and now we are married and together for 12 years. I had an alcohol problem. Thankfully she was able to see through that. God bless her. It was a gamble on her part to be sure. I’m a lucky fuck.’
KangarooPort

12.

‘We met at a restaurant. We sit down. He says, ‘can I be honest? I’m afraid we’re going to fall in love and you’re going to leave me. You won’t leave me, will you?’

‘He went on to explain that over the next two years, he would like us to have two children together. We had JUST MET. I was so freaked out but just sat through the dinner.’
scarlett-storm

13.

‘Tinder date. Went to a 1:00 Sunday baseball game in the middle of summer. Met up at Pickles, a bar, beforehand. Got smashed at the bar for two and a half hours. Didn’t eat anything. Proceeded inside. Sat directly in the Sun. Passed out. Woke up, date gone, red, O’s lost.’
NottheMonkie

14.

‘Back in my day flash mobs were a thing… I thought the ‘no pants subway ride’ would be a fun first date. The second we saw each other we realised there was no attraction.

‘We then spent 45 minutes awkwardly talking in our underwear on the New York subway as strangers got on wondering why we were only in our underwear. If I tried to orchestrate something that awkward on purpose I don’t think I’d be able to beat that hour again.’
cislum

15.

‘I shit my pants. No I actually shit my pantyhose underneath my very nice dress. I was recovering from the flu the week before and this date was my first solid meal. The second bite I took awoke a demon inside of me and there was nothing I could do to stop him.’
Rough-Instruction359

16.

‘One time this guy asked me if I had an OnlyFans, and that he’ll totally subscribe if I do. It’s not like the worst one can have on a first date, but it wasn’t ideal lol.’
ontevenknowher16

17.

Midway through our meal for (what I thought was) a casual Grindr date – he dropped the bomb his mom, sister, and cousin also came and were sitting at the table behind us.’
homas-2x

Source Reddit u/Huge_Run_4282 H/T Buzzfeed Image Pexels Oleksandr P

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