14 biblical takedowns of this Modern Crusader’s so-called Christian BS
We dread to think what goes through the minds of people who decide to style themselves as Crusaders in the 21st century. We’re guessing ‘rage’, ‘misconceptions about Magna Carta’ and ‘Can I get chainmail delivered to my parents’ basement?’
Judging by this post from ‘Modern Crusaders’, policing the sex lives of strangers seems to be part of it.
It’s anything but modern. It’s positively mediaeval.
It’s a good job they have armour, because they clearly posted a massive target on their back – or backs.
1.
Oh mighty knight, please remember that thou art not supposed to use your phone while serving tables at Medieval Times, and that the customers at Sir Robins party hath asked for Birthday Mead and thou hast still not delivered it!
This will be thy last workplace warning. https://t.co/VE1sHEdUQW— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) December 21, 2023
2.
Here’s the thing, dickless; we’re not “on your watch”. You don’t HAVE a “watch”. The only thing you’re watching is the TV in your mum’s basement. https://t.co/nt9a0WnW7p
— Mitch Benn (@MitchBenn) December 20, 2023
3.
Too late, my freaky fash friends- that couple are quite clearly gearing up for Reverse Cowgirl.
My man’s even got the manual out, just to make sure https://t.co/ZRiGcbGeIp
— Dr Louise Raw (@LouiseRawAuthor) December 20, 2023
4.
the christians are not ok https://t.co/xb5z8Gfyb7
— Atheist Girl (@iamAtheistGirl) December 20, 2023
5.
“We’ll be cooler if we call ourselves ‘crusaders!’” the incels said, incorrectly. https://t.co/6Ft99EcC4N
— Jay Black (@jayblackisfunny) December 21, 2023
6.
These guys are funny to any person who reads actual history because the crusader texts are always like “and then the monks asked the crusaders to expel all the hundreds of prostitutes from the camp, who had been traveling with them since they left Venice,” https://t.co/SL9owBqQXq
— Cassie Pritchard (again) (@hecubian_devil) December 19, 2023
7.
Helluva way to shout SHE’S TURNT THE WEANS AGAINST US https://t.co/ksYRN4fQog
— Gary Brannan (@garybrannan) December 20, 2023
8.
Why are all these men in this woman’s bedroom? That’s creepy and invasive. https://t.co/OJwRTHUsiG
— Anne Flake [email protected] (@AnneUndone1) December 20, 2023
9.
This, remarkably, does not appear to be a parody account. https://t.co/j8Ax9NXctj
— Michael Marshall Smith (@ememess) December 21, 2023
10.
I’m just blocking these Christofascists willy nilly. Who let them out of their crypt? https://t.co/JxM8C5g8YI
— Jane Caro (@JaneCaro) December 20, 2023
11.
Your religion is your business, but I do not have to follow your interpretation of god if I don’t want.
I’ll use contraception and porn, be polyamorous, and engage in acts you personally consider “unnatural” as I please.
YOUR god does not control MY life
— Jae️⚧️ (@JCR1392) December 19, 2023
12.
You are not a crusader, you are an incel who pays $8 to yap about his barely disguised voyeurism fetish https://t.co/o89sQqwYTC
— ☽☾ (@moonlit_misfit) December 20, 2023
13.
Fuck – and I can’t say this enough – you https://t.co/XRpYJd17sq
— Yayger (@_Yayger) December 21, 2023
14.
Get a life, you deeply weird man babies. https://t.co/9krQkb9xci
— Jackson Wheat (@JacksonWheat1) December 20, 2023
There was also this …
This post implies you want to watch them
— Zoma ★ (@ZomaSpirit) December 19, 2023
Whatever lights their votive candle.
Finally …
“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Maya Angelou.
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14 favourite reactions to this laughably bad A.I. rendering of a Christian’s dream TV show
Source Modern Crusaders Image Modern Crusaders