Social Media

There’s a slight flaw in this plan for how to beat a bear in a boxing match

Poke Staff. Updated January 7th, 2024

Over on the r/technicallythetruth forum, u/candidcynicism has shared this screenshot of someone’s brilliant idea for how to beat a bear in a boxing match.

It has one slight flaw.

6% of Americans think they could fight in hand to paw combat with a brown bear. Considering they can keep up with horses, weigh 600lbs on average, and have razor sharp teeth and claws I think 6/100 people in the US might be in trouble. ⠀ I could almost certainly win a sanctioned boxing match against any wild bear. Not to brag, but I would probably win the fight in less than a minute. As soon as the bell was rung, I would be immediately mauled. But biting is a foul in boxing. The bear would be is qualified for committing an intentional foul that caused injury, and I would be awarded the win. Presumably posthumously.

There’s a sort of genius there. Reddit users had a few thoughts.

A win is a win.
TheMainMan6

You won’t know until you try.
OnlyMrPickles

The problem I have with this is that the original post did not say a sanctioned boxing match, just hand to paw combat. While that could be a sanctioned boxing match, it most likely would not be.
fireyjon

I could absolutely fight a bear. I guarantee I would lose the fight and likely be severely injured or killed, but there would be a small number of seconds where my status would be “Engaged in combat with a bear.”
EquallyAuthority

There are many ways in which your average american can defeat a bear in combat. Such as the bear already being near death and in a coma before the fight starts.
victorcoelh

Bear’s not going to wait for the bell.
Liraeyn

Actually those 6/100 people are pretty safe, because they don’t venture far enough from Walmart to run into bears.
LovableSidekick

Ok, this was actually really well thought out.
ZephRyder

Yasuo11994 had a very different plan to ‘defeat’ the bear.

I would escape and hide in a tree, then when the bear is looking for me I would wait for the right opportunity and drop down onto its back and hold on, riding it and slowly petting and comforting it. I would tame it and ride off into the Alaskan sunset.

READ MORE

A teenager rescuing her dogs from a bear is the wildest viral video you’ll see today

Source r/technicallythetruth Image r/technicallythetruth, Pixel-mixer on Pixabay