The Daily Mail guide to ‘fighting off an XL bully’ might be the best thing it’s ever published
In the spirit of hope for the best but prepare for the worst and all that, the Daily Mail today published a helpful cut out and keep guide to what to do in the unlikely event you find yourself confronted by an XL bully.
Well, we say helpful, although we’re not sure exactly how much good this 3-step guide to giving the terrifying dogs the what-for will actually do.
Still what do we know? We’re no experts, obviously. At anything.
The graphic (and accompanying text) went viral after it was shared by James Heale over on Twitter and, well, best have a look for yourselves.
Superb cut out and keep guide to fighting off an XL Bully in today’s Mail pic.twitter.com/iHf3dv3qdW
— James Heale (@JAHeale) February 7, 2024
And here it is again, just in case that’s tricky to see in full.
Hmmm. And here’s exactly what people made of that.
1.
“This guide is great Jo, just wondering if maybe people should throw their big bag of meat before offering their leg to be bitten and choking out the dog?”
Jo [sensing her editor is eying her precious big bag of meat, and drawing it closer to her] “we publish as is” https://t.co/fqQh1tpui7
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) February 7, 2024
2.
“offer your leg to be bitten” https://t.co/uUcUF9xRoz
— Jim Pickard (@PickardJE) February 7, 2024
3.
Absolute horror lol – ‘accept it’s going to happen and move your outer thigh, which is meatier…’ https://t.co/y4dalYDo2D pic.twitter.com/wlMZO41Bc0
— The Man in the Black Pyjamas (@pyjamas_black) February 7, 2024
4.
Great isn’t it. Of course we all wear one coat while carrying another.
— Patrick O’Flynn (@oflynnsocial) February 7, 2024
5.
“These sausages will give me the quick energy I need to escape!” https://t.co/x9lqO6KsMQ
— Ricardo Autobahn says why not follow @thecubanboys (@ricardoautobahn) February 7, 2024
6.
How to survive an XL Bully attack.
1: Maybe don’t become an XL Bully matador in the first place, you’re just asking for trouble. https://t.co/HhNiicnMly pic.twitter.com/16lt6sS0fZ— Drivelcast (@drivelcast) February 7, 2024
7.
Wave down a bus. https://t.co/aThm5BZA1I
— Kelly Welles @kellywelles.bsky.social (@kelly_welles) February 7, 2024
8.
So, basically, since most of us don’t wear one coat and carry another, or walk around with an unwrapped gammon steak, this boils down to “let it bite your leg”.
Good to know. https://t.co/dxApqfjPnx
— Alex Andreou (@sturdyAlex) February 7, 2024
9.
It says you need two jackets, but that’s actually fourteen in dog coats. https://t.co/UKVQzq2y7t
— HENRY MORRIS (@mrhenrymorris) February 7, 2024
And also …
going insane seeing this duck and cover methodical checklist shit in a newspaper, i know for a fact if i get attacked by one of these things i’ll just be doing a lot of screaming and hoping i have a biro pen in my pocket so i can fruitlessly attempt to stab it in the fucking eyes pic.twitter.com/X0ukTVQ8Hg
— Dan Douglas (@dandouglas) February 7, 2024
And finally …
Same energy pic.twitter.com/nYTjKDJT7p
— Ed Smith (@EdOfWraxall) February 7, 2024
Source Daily Mail @JAHeale