People have been sharing their favourite ‘lowest stake conspiracy theories’ and this one knocked the rest out of the park

In something of a throwback to old Twitter – you remember, when Twitter was fun – people have been sharing their favourite ‘lowest stakes conspiracy theory’ after @MNateShyamalan asked this.

what’s the lowest stakes conspiracy theory you have? i think airplane mode is a hoax because they don’t want you texting your friends and telling them you’re not having fun on the plane

— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) February 26, 2024

And it prompted a whole bunch of responses that were often funny, invariably eye-opening, occasionally entirely convincing and sometimes all three.

I had a friend who doesn’t care for sports sit & watch a basketball game & hes quiet for a bit & just barks out: “Yeah I dont think there are that many squeaks. They gotta be pumping em in”

That was over 10 yrs ago I havent watched a single game since without thinking of it https://t.co/6EbzHGrqlF

— Ned Schneebly (@Patlantis48) February 26, 2024

I think Anti-virus software is probably spyware that you pay for lol.

— NemoAnon (@NemoAnon0) February 26, 2024

Cats know when you call their names but they don’t give a single fuck https://t.co/axeCYjz6Am

— Mel (@Melethonomia) February 26, 2024

The ducks at the park are free you can take them home

— Adam Smith (@AdamQJSmith) February 27, 2024

Women’s clothes don’t have pockets so they can sell handbags https://t.co/QX9Gy9uoEu

— Bum Rush Cyberspunk (@KharloKong) February 27, 2024

I think Big Vegetable wants us to eat more vegetables because they want us to be healthier so we can live longer and buy more vegetables.

— David Yakubik (@DavidYakubik) February 26, 2024

Frozen (2013) is called Frozen so as to make it impossible to Google about how maybe Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen https://t.co/ViY4afrHOQ

— Terminally Von Der Leyen (@Ciaranxo) February 26, 2024

these buttons do absolutely nothing when you press them, they are there just to make you feel like you have control over traffic pic.twitter.com/R5zC253BqT

— ondra machálek (@Alficor1) February 26, 2024

That London keeps its undergrounds gappy to keep the ‘Mind The Gap’ merch and memorabilia companies in business. When cash flow is low, they increase the gaps https://t.co/EeJ6Y1NFeP

— Anna Thomas (@annarosethomas) February 26, 2024

Land surveying isn’t real. It’s just two guys standing at opposite ends of a field and looking at each other

— Sam (@worldsday) February 26, 2024

But there was surely only one winner, this from @FionaSmall which knocked the rest out of the park.

https://t.co/L3Hus3Z4wR pic.twitter.com/EmXBlN4xVI

— Fiona Small (@FionaSmall) February 26, 2024

Boom!

Oh I 100% believe this

— Ksana (@bigarms4me) February 27, 2024

Wow this person was so right https://t.co/LpcXBoCpDA

— Nikolaj (@nikicaga) February 26, 2024

Source @MNateShyamalan @FionaSmall