25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
The weekend’s so close we can almost smell it – although that could be last night’s pizza, now we come to think of it.
Either way, we’re happy to present this list of the funniest stuff we saw on Twitter/X this week.
1.
“Time is linear” not for rideshare apps. Your driver is arriving in 3 minutes or maybe never. Be ready in 14 minutes and also he’s outside right now
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) March 12, 2024
2.
If blocking a Welcome Break toilet had a face. pic.twitter.com/rQJJ3pt8WX
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) March 13, 2024
3.
Rishi Sunak travels to kitchen to cook for his wife on Mother’s Day. pic.twitter.com/oZ27SKtVW8
— Florence (@LoxyFlo) March 10, 2024
4.
“I would LOVE it if we beat Ofsted” pic.twitter.com/Q9rRmNpT5Y
— Mark Sweep (@riffraffhands) March 8, 2024
5.
Britain in one sentence:
Clare Balding on a drizzly Sunday evening talking to an Afghan hound in a headscarf pic.twitter.com/TIF7lwuflV
— Tom Hourigan (@TomHourigan) March 10, 2024
6.
Dexy's Midnight Runners' follow-up singles weren't quite as successful pic.twitter.com/wyN62J9nOh
— Holly Brockwell (@holly) March 12, 2024
7.
“Mum can we have Jurgen Klopp?”
“We have Jurgen Klopp at home”
The Jurgen Klopp at home: pic.twitter.com/8Jzji5r2JR
— Eunice Huthart (@eunicehuv) March 9, 2024
8.
fair play this would make me keep my distance from humans pic.twitter.com/J5l7aBGZyq
— James Felton (@JimMFelton) March 13, 2024
9.
me (normal): hey did you watch those 67 videos I sent you last night
my friend (also normal): of course
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) March 12, 2024
10.
The IRS needs special envelopes for when you're not in trouble
— (@im_all_id) March 12, 2024
11.
To avoid being banned, TikTok should simply rename itself to "AR-15"
— Keith Edwards (@keithedwards) March 13, 2024
12.
What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18
— who cares (@DianaG2772) March 12, 2024