25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
Nottingham Station has a little monument to the time Henry was bricked up in a tunnel for being an annoying prick pic.twitter.com/3Jdkng5Eth
— Log (@disappointment) March 14, 2024
14.
I went to see Bill Bailey in Dublin years ago, he did a bit about time
He asked, does anyone know what a second is?
This lad shouted it's the duration of a specific number of vibrations of a caesium atom
Bill says yes! Are you a scientist?
Lad says no, I saw you in Kilkenny
— Gerry McBride (@GerryMcBride) March 13, 2024
15.
boeing: you can’t bring more than 3 ounces of shampoo on board because we care about your safety
me: ok and the doors will definitely stay on the plane?
boeing: …IF they fall off, it won’t be because of shampoo
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) March 12, 2024
16.
Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.
— Natasha Something (@IfIwassomething) March 12, 2024
17.
The dream property for a family of archers from the 15th Century pic.twitter.com/SB35BElDRq
— David M (@mackenzie99d) March 14, 2024
18.
Being an adult is mostly telling other adults how badly you slept the night before on repeat forever
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) March 12, 2024
19.
This dog on #Crufts2024 looks like she’s starring in an ITV drama about a retired detective chief inspector in a quaint Yorkshire village, who has a shrewd mind and one last case to solve pic.twitter.com/zuqTP48vtd
— James (@DrJamesJBailey) March 10, 2024
20.
i thought that was Donald Trump https://t.co/7rn2zaChb0
— Shafeeq (@Y2SHAF) March 13, 2024
21.
what your seat choice says about you
window: main character
middle: who hurt u
aisle: weak bladder— Ryanair (@Ryanair) March 13, 2024
22.
“Because it’s stupid and I don’t want to” feels like a perfectly good reason to skip a meeting.
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) March 13, 2024
23.
January 2024: “This is my year!
I'm going to achieve so much!!”March: pic.twitter.com/axotrE81Qc
— Invis♀️ (@invis4yo) March 14, 2024
24.
what if im not “overthinking it” maybe everyone else is under-thinking it did you ever think about that?
— kenzi (@kenzianidiot) March 12, 2024
25.
BREAKING: Sharleen Spiteri denies Kemi Badenoch's claims of a trade deal with Texas. pic.twitter.com/DVhNR48dSh
— Real Sam Lowry #FBPE (@SamTLowry) March 14, 2024