25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
If you’re lucky enough to live in a place and work in a job that will allow you to enjoy the four-day Easter weekend, congratulations. Now all you have to do is hope the weather is decent enough to let you get some fresh air.
Perhaps you might want to save this collection of excellent tweets so you can enjoy them on a rainy bank holiday, but we reckon they’re funny enough to read more than once – so have at it.
Do us a favour and share any that make you laugh.
1.
If I had murdered someone and Columbo turned up as the detective I would simply not waste everyone’s time trying to get away with it, it’s clearly not going to happen, I would simply ask for a picture with Columbo and then go straight to jail
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) March 24, 2024
2.
pretending to listen to the waiter read out the specials before you order a burger and chips. pic.twitter.com/54gliZlCIK
— kramerica industries (@hepimp) March 24, 2024
3.
What I love about farmer’s markets is that by going direct to the source I only pay three times as much as things cost in stores.
— Jeff (@_FlipMan) March 24, 2024
4.
there’s two types of jobs: ones where you have to sit down too long and ones where you have to stand up too long
— ig: @shereenshafi (@shereeny) March 23, 2024
5.
me at work pic.twitter.com/hus2a2G6zq
— ember loves bay ridge (@embernic) March 24, 2024
6.
i want a small, tasteful wedding. no family. no friends. no groom. just me eating a big cake
— trash jones (@jzux) March 24, 2024
7.
New flag for the people offended by the Nike logo x pic.twitter.com/ImtBqFsKqu
— Fran (@whingewine) March 24, 2024
8.
Get so sad when I finish my first coffee of the day. I will have a second one soon, but nothing beats your first. I had the whole day ahead of me when I was drinking that, the world was at my feet. Now im just some guy getting on with it.
— Mike Townsend (@townsendyesmate) March 26, 2024
9.
He looks like Alexander Armstrong if Alexander Armstrong was cast as a villain in Poirot pic.twitter.com/dBngU4S6Wb
— SHANE REACTION (@imshanereaction) March 26, 2024
10.
They’re about to 1, 2, 3….wheeee! him, aren’t they? pic.twitter.com/3XXe6Y4bYK
— Alistair Barrie (@AlistairBarrie) March 26, 2024
11.
One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) March 27, 2024
12.
A spider ran across my foot and now I have to explain why a woman was screaming in a men’s Target bathroom.
— Tony P. (@Tbone7219) March 27, 2024