A Brit asked people how to give her American boyfriend the ‘true UK experience’ – 17 funniest and most on-point responses

Time now to return to the cultural divide, nay chasm, between the UK and the US after a British woman asked people for their tips on how to give her American boyfriend a ‘true UK experience’.

Here’s the question sophietheadventurer put out to the good people of Reddit.

‘My American boyfriend is visiting the UK in 2 weeks, how do I give him the true UK experience?

‘Take him to Greggs and tell him it’s considered fine dining? Spoons during the day? Dip in the Thames? Lasso a swan?

‘One week in London (where I live) and one week on the east coast of Scotland with my family (god save his soul).’

And it prompted lots of very funny and totally on-point (and sometimes even useful!) responses. We’ve read them all – well, quite a few of them – so you don’t have to, and these 17 said it best.

1.

‘Make him drink 8 pints and then feed him a kebab.’
Savageparrot81

‘And what about the afternoon?
Breakwaterbot

‘After the kebab, you punch him in the face, hit him on the head with a pint glass and then spend 43 hours in A&E waiting to be glued up.’
pancreaticallybroke

2.

‘Break up with him in Morrisons cafe.’
Financial-Glass5693

3.

‘When my mate from California came over to visit a few years back I got my friends and family to help convinced him 1pm was officially tea time in the UK and a majority of the country would sit down for tea and biscuits and have a 10 minute break and a chat.

‘We would set alarms on our phone and stop what we were doing immediately for tea and we kept this going for 5 days. He really did believe it was like our countries version of a siesta.’
Chillmm8

4.

‘Dress up as Vicky Pollard, and perform fellatio on him behind an industrial sized bin.’
RunAroundProud

5.

‘A very long time ago a housemate of mine had a friend from the US over for a day.

‘We had a huge fryup in a cafe, a couple of spliffs in the park, a beer garden lunch which descended into daydrinking. He was introduced to Newcastle brown ale, bad amphetamines in a punk bar, saw some live thrash punk, got into what was best described as a small punky riot outside the bar, and was recovered from a police cell in the morning.

‘He claimed it was one of the best days of his life.’
lengthy_prolapse

6.

‘East coast of Scotland in April / May? Convince him everyone likes to go for a morning swim in the sea. Nice and warm at that time of year.’
Avenger1324

7.

‘Crab paste sandwiches and a flask of tea whilst sat in a car, parked up in a car park on top of a cliff, on a rainy day staring out to the grey sea, convincing each other that the weather isn’t affecting your holiday plans. Followed by going to a high street full of charity shops to look for cheap books for an hour and a half to then leave with nothing.’
Banditofbingofame

8.

‘Put him in one of those walk in refrigerators for a while, take him out and put him under a shower, take him out, turn the heating right up and shine a hot lamp on him.

‘Repeat every two hours.’
CreditBrunch

9.

‘Make sure you drive to Scotland and be on the M1 anywhere during rush hour. Or for the complete experience, the M6 around Manchester at a similar time.

‘Keep sharp implements away from him if you do so.’
Ecstatic_Effective42