‘Men! What’s the first thing you do when the wife and kids just left the house for a few hours?’ 17 funniest and most relatable responses
Now it goes without saying – especially if they’re reading this (who are we kidding?) – that we love sharing our home with our family. Of course we do!
And yet it’s always exciting – supremely exciting – on those rare occasions when they all leave the house at the same time and you’re left entirely on your tod.
We mention this after Kitkatcrusher asked this over on Reddit.
‘Men of Reddit, what’s the first thing you do when the wife and kids just left the house for a few hours?’
And please, get your mind out of the gutter, people!
These 17 folk surely said it best, our favourite funny and totally on-point replies.
1.
‘Take five decorative pillows off the bed and put them in the closet til the morning of her return.’
halfslices
2.
‘I don’t speak. I don’t play music. I don’t have the TV on. I sit, in complete silence, reading my phone or whatever, but not having to answer anybody’s questions, not having to listen to anybody. Just complete silence for at least 15 minutes.
One time my wife took the kids out of town for the weekend with her sister. From Friday night when I got home from work until Monday morning when I went back, I didn’t speak a word. I just…existed. I watched shows, I played games, I drank some whiskey and smoked a cigar. I cleaned and did laundry.
I didn’t speak. I didn’t have to answer anyone’s questions.’
gaqua
3.
‘This never happens.’
Cobra-Serpentress
4.
‘Turn off the lights that were left on in every room and closet.’
mantenomanteno
5.
‘Not always, but I usually just sit and think to myself “I’m not married and I don’t have kids, so who the fuck were those people?”
vinnymcapplesauce
6.
‘Well first I clean the house… just kidding I usually beat my meat.’
tomfoolery33_
7.
‘Do a bunch of chores and stuff while I daydream about what I’m going to do when I have free time. This lasts until they return.’
JesseCuster40
8.
‘Shit with the door open and yell while doing it.’
morganstern
9.
‘I cook a package of bacon and save the drippings. I cook basically everything in that fat until it’s gone.
‘Wife and daughter are vegetarian.’
osopolare