25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
Used to be you could stir-fry rice and it would go all over the stove because the sides of the pan were too shallow. Can't anymore. Because of wok.
— Professor Bison Sexhorn (@Brainmage) May 8, 2024
14.
Condolences to Sheila's family and friends.
Very nice of Tesco's to make such a public announcement. pic.twitter.com/VhnSQCXLXh
— Dull Mens Club (@BestOfDullMen) May 9, 2024
15.
I'm so tired today. If you pulled up next to me in a car & said, "Get in loser. We're going to–" I'd already be in the car with my seat belt fastened, fast asleep.
— Marly (@VerbsRProudest) May 7, 2024
16.
I was just about to mow the lawn, when I noticed this on the extension lead. So I put the mower back in the shed, poured a rum and booked a weekend away. pic.twitter.com/Zmuym4uEHf
— Jedabelle® (@BigJed_one) May 7, 2024
17.
Happy birthday to the great Sigmund Freud, who would have been 168 years penis today.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) May 6, 2024
18.
My favorite thing about Truth Social is it's a website made by Trump, catered to Trump, full of Trump followers. And when Trump posts he still gets less than 1000 likes. pic.twitter.com/93j5sdROVS
— Jesse McLaren (@McJesse) May 9, 2024
19.
This so looks like a photo from the 1980s of a British Airways steward receiving the employee of the year award. pic.twitter.com/df3RosMbhW
— ianVisits (@ianvisits) May 9, 2024
20.
Couldn't afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.
— WJ Reid (@WJReid3) May 7, 2024
21.
One time, a guy flirtatiously asked me what my deepest darkest secret was, and I told him I was working on a shot by shot remake of the first Star Wars film reenacted by my cats called, "A Mew Hope".
Anyway he didn't call.
— Cooper (@Cooperstreaming) May 8, 2024
22.
The greatest trick I ever pulled was convincing you I might watch that show someday
— (@im_all_id) May 7, 2024
23.
*At a quiet point in the work meeting*
My stomach: I HAVE SOMETHING I’D LIKE TO SAY!— McDad (@mcdadstuff) May 8, 2024
24.
The magnificent Yorkshire Post describe a local playwright as having ‘died in exile.’ He had moved to Oxfordshire. pic.twitter.com/gN6ofNJvjH
— Sophie Heawood (@heawood) May 8, 2024
25.
For a man who can be killed as easily as having a turtle walk into his shin, Mario sure does take a lot of risks.
— Matthew Highton (@MattHighton) May 8, 2024
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25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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