News telegraph

This warning of the feral youth threat on Waitrose may have achieved peak Telegraph – 23 luxury organic takedowns

We regret to inform you that the Telegraph has been at it again, with an outrageously on-brand attack against young people, courtesy of columnist Zoe Strimpel.

Gangs of feral youths rule our streets. Not even Waitrose is safe

Her piece begins, unironically,

“I spend a good deal of time in my local Waitrose because I find it relaxing, even when I don’t buy very much.”

She continues,

“Did I know I wanted a new mixture of crab and scallop in a large shell ready to eat; a watercress-infused tzatziki, a large glass tumbler with a bee motif? No: but, now I know it exists, it turns out that maybe I do!”

Wait until she tries the middle aisle at Aldi and comes out with a snorkelling set, a wheelchair and a miniature potter’s wheel. She won’t know she’s born.

Of course, the pisstaking was off the scale.

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