Sharks in Brazilian waters have tested positive for cocaine, and the jokes came flooding in – 19 high points
A study published in May revealed that the UK’s fish are contaminated with cocaine – and probably copious amounts of faecal bacteria, but that’s another issue.
That means that the homegrown salmon, trout or bream you ate last Friday might have been more of a blow-out than you suspected, but at least those are small. In Brazil, it’s a very different kettle of sharks.
Sharks in waters off the coast of Brazil have tested positive for cocaine, scientists say
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— Sky News (@SkyNews) July 22, 2024
It seems that drug dealers have been hiding bricks of the drug in the ocean, anchored to buoys. The problem isn’t specific to Brazil, with other South and Central American countries, as well as Florida, experiencing the same type of pollution.
It was a gift to the internet.
1.
https://t.co/k8jtvagXet pic.twitter.com/kUbTu901yF
— Zack Zwiezen (@ZwiezenZ) July 23, 2024
2.
Can spot them a mile off https://t.co/jm6z384OAG pic.twitter.com/zmjJ87AkWT
— Josh (@joshpearson180) July 23, 2024
3.
Cocaine Shark (2025)
Cocaine Bear x Shark (2026)
Bear v Shark: 2 High 2 Furious (2027) https://t.co/T8OxYlkDtD— Shane Tiffen (@shane_tiffen) July 23, 2024
4.
Gums. https://t.co/IYlRXa5RWX
— Paul Litchfield (@MrPLitchfield) July 23, 2024
5.
imagine how the war on drugs would go if the other guys had coked-up sharks on their team https://t.co/dPFl8RaaXI
— Magnificent Ewa of Judgement (@EwaSR) July 23, 2024
6.
Scientists on coast of Brazil have tested positive for cocaine, say sharks. https://t.co/fjgOp1r0mu
— trouteyes (@trouteyes) July 23, 2024
7.
The last thing you need is a shark chatting shit to you all night at the bar. https://t.co/Bbjx7tpDO1
— (@LovelyGeezer65) July 23, 2024
8.
I spoke with the shark. Denied it:
"The easy option would have been to accept a 6 month ban, save myself a legal bill and move on, but my reputation and family name is worth more than that"
Says he will be swimming the Pacific Ocean after tearing up his licence for the Atlantic https://t.co/7xHm5IzUcl
— Martin (@NewAgeBoxingUK) July 23, 2024
9.
https://t.co/HKMk7oE71O pic.twitter.com/kK6v0KzK0q
— RunThemMemes (@RunThemMemes) July 23, 2024
10.
One thing you don't want to bump into when you're surfing is a Great White off his face on charlie https://t.co/qIYbiCvbr8
— Paul Downes (@CallmeDownsie) July 22, 2024