People are wondering what RFK Jr. will confess to next, after his bizarre bear story – 17 freaky favourites
By now, you’ll be aware of the bizarre confession made by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who is running as an Independent candidate in the US election.
Looking forward to seeing how you spin this one, @NewYorker… pic.twitter.com/G13taEGzba
— Robert F. Kennedy Jr (@RobertKennedyJr) August 4, 2024
The mystery of the Central Park bear cub had been a talking point for ten years, but nobody had ever had ‘RFK Jr. staged a bike accident after carrying the bear around for a day in the hope of eventually eating it.’ on their bingo card.
How NYC local news covered the dead bear RFK Jr put into Central Park ten years ago https://t.co/J25gDeLQ1Q pic.twitter.com/nJio51Li3R
— Luther Lowe (@lutherlowe) August 4, 2024
The jokes haven’t stopped, because it’s just too weird a story to let go.
Kristi Noem: No one will top my bizarre animal killing stories.
RFK Jr.: Hold my bear.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) August 4, 2024
nobody:
RFK jr: would you like to hear one of my many Atrocities https://t.co/wbyJpkdhEi
— soul nate (@MNateShyamalan) August 4, 2024
"Ask not what your country can do for you…
Ask what you can do with this roadkill bear you found."
Robert F Kennedy Jr— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) August 5, 2024
Everything I've learned about RFK Jr. has been against my will.
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) August 5, 2024
Me, trying to figure out RFK Jr.'s journey from the Hudson Valley to the Peter Luger Steakhouse in Williamsburg to Central Park with a dead bear cub and a bicycle in the trunk of his car. pic.twitter.com/PdaiYE4vTp
— Patrick Andelic (@pkandelic) August 5, 2024
I think everyone should just keep saying to RFK jr “I know what you did” and see what other insane things he admits to
— stoned cold fox (@roastmalone_) August 5, 2024
In fact, a lot of people have been wondering what else the would-be President might confess to. These were the best suggestions we’ve spotted so far.
1.
Reporter: Thank you for sitting down for this inter…
RFK Jr: My family and I ate Jimmy Hoffa for Thanksgiving in 1975 pic.twitter.com/ZNe0fqWTeF
— Conspiratorial Templates (@mynamehear) August 5, 2024
2.
no one:
RFK Jr: so just to get ahead of this, between the years 2004 to 2009 I left a total of 16 dead bats wearing tiny rubber Crocs floating in the Bethesda Terrace fountain, carefully staged to look like victims of a bat doomsday cult
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) August 5, 2024
3.
nobody:
rfk jr: I stole screws from the challenger
— Miss Gender (@girldrawsghosts) August 5, 2024
4.
No one:
RFK Jr: I've kept a drifter caged in a remote abandoned bomb shelter, systematically starved him, and kept him alive only by letting him lick peanut butter smeared on my feet.
— Jeff Timmer (@jefftimmer) August 5, 2024
5.
nobody:
rfk jr: I stole the vatican menorah
— Levi Teldon (@AlamoRabbi) August 5, 2024
6.
Nobody.
RFK Jr: I dumped Paddington’s corpse but it’s a normal thing to do…… https://t.co/EGlhwaLst3
— Dan Kaszeta, FRHistS, Legal Juggernaut (@DanKaszeta) August 4, 2024
7.
nobody:
rfk jr: I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox— JRR Jokien (@joshcarlosjosh) August 5, 2024
8.
Nobody
RFK Jr: I told The Simpsons writers to do an episode where Principal Skinner isn't actually Principal Skinner.
— Jeremy Fassler (@J_fassler) August 5, 2024
9.
nobody:
rfk jr: I wasn’t the Zodiac Killer, but we did go on some hunting trips together in upstate New York. Guy could grill a mean venison— Alex Jewell (@bestfoodalex) August 5, 2024