25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Welcome to our weekly round-up of funny stuff we’ve spotted on Twitter/X over the past week. As ever, we hope you enjoy what you read, and maybe find a new account or two to follow – before everyone deserts it because of Elon Musk.
1.
You know you're getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don't like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.
— Turgid Verse (@gullyvuhr) August 12, 2024
2.
the word “polyamory” comes from the greek ‘poly,’ which means many, and ‘yammery,’ which means talking too much
— Adam Goldman (@theadamgoldman) August 11, 2024
3.
Right, plump up the sofa cushions, check all the doors are locked, shut the downstairs windows, quickly eat half a block of cheese in front of the fridge, turn off the lights…
And that’s me ready to go up to bed.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) August 12, 2024
4.
Nearly half way through the Edinburgh Fringe and I've just watched one of the best shows I've ever seen. It's called Bridgerton and it's on Netflix. Check it out. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
— Tom Little will be at Edinburgh Fringe 2024! (@ThisIsTomLittle) August 11, 2024
5.
Great news. It was the sport that's always put me off. pic.twitter.com/0l7gdYaiyS
— Graham (@GrahamOfTheDead) August 12, 2024
6.
They say you should do one thing that scares you every day so today I’m going to let my daughter take my credit card to the mall
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) August 12, 2024
7.
My six year old has recently discovered the existence of “opposite day,” and in keeping with the theme let me just say I love it. It’s a lot of fun.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 12, 2024
8.
To the lady in the black BMW who stuck up two fingers at me after I beeped at her when pulling out of Waitrose car park just now:
Your Louis Vuitton handbag probably isn't on your car roof anymore.
— Julie (@julhat) August 12, 2024
9.
Got upgraded to first class for the first time ever and it’s CRAZY. Free booze and brunch. Bigger TVs. Comfy seats with tons of room. An extra page in the safety manual that says in the case of a crash landing we’re entitled to eat the passengers in coach
— kate sisk (@thekatesisk) August 12, 2024
10.
Have a work dinner where I’ll be meeting lots of new, important people for the first time. It’s a good thing I’m normal about both People Perceiving Me and Eating
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) August 12, 2024
11.
…we didn't start the fire pic.twitter.com/hxRN5rv67w
— Pete (@Sarf_London) August 13, 2024
12.
— Alexis (@lexistwit) August 12, 2024