“What is the funniest thing you’ve accidentally overheard?” – 21 funny favourites

We can’t help overhearing the chatter around us as we go our merry way in the world. It could be that person having a phone conversation on the bus, or the friends walking by in deep conversation.

Some of those snippets stick with us, and u/windtrees7791 teased some of them out of people with this question on r/AskUK.

What is the funniest thing you’ve accidentally overheard?

They had a NSFW reason for asking.

“Interested to see other people’s funny stories that they probably shouldn’t have overheard..

I was in B&Q bathroom section today and witnessed an impromptu meeting between 2 blokes who knew each other, one tells the other he’s “been getting a bidet” the other asks “why?” The first bloke said “me and the Mrs have been doing a bit of anal”. The second bloke replied quick as a flash, “I bet your arse is sore”.

I was almost doubled over laughing.”

Anyway …here are the best responses.

1.

HeavenHelpYou
Via Pexels

2.

A woman carrying a screaming child shouting at a man plugging a Tesla into a charger at a service station:

“You just had to save the fucking world didn’t you Brian”

It was like something off a sitcom, amazing.
RichardsonM24

3.

Happened last year on the bus coming home from work. Two girls in front of me around 17.

“Like, honestly, what am I supposed to get an illegal Romanian immigrant for secret santa?”

“A passport?”

Still think about it to this day.
SSEBarnes

4.

Walking through the estate with the fancy houses and overheard a couple arguing.

‘There was nothing wrong with the fish, Marion! It was the wine!’
RaechelFish

5.

On the bus just after the first Avatar came out, two girls having a conversation that ended with a really wistful: ‘I wish real life was in 3D’.

Both sad and hilarious.
penguininsufficiency

6.

A group of young lads in Tesco hovering around the meat section, with a few boxes of beer and a portable BBQ. One lad says “what the fucks a lion steak?” One of the others said “It’s a loin steak, you thick cunt”.

Bet he still gets shit about it now.
jimmy-84

7.

Corickle
Via Pexels

8.

Couple of Aussie lasses getting off the train in my home town after a day in Birmingham:

Girl 1: “I really liked the buildings and the architecture there”

Girl 2: “Oh my God, Sheila! You are such a bitch for concrete!”
EnglishGamerGuy

9.

At work, there’s a woman who fancies herself as being able to bag any guy.

To prove that anyone would swoon over her, she went up to a Muslim guy (This was happening independently of me as I was just there) and he retorted with,

“I’d rather have a ham sandwich”.
sustainable_twat

10.

Was on a bus one afternoon and there was 2 teenage girls a few rows behind me. They were talking about the local village show that had taken place the week before and one of them said they didn’t enjoy it. The other asked why and she responded “I was too drunk and about 10 minutes after I arrived I misjudged a fart and full on shit my pants and had to go home”.

Bit my lip so hard that I drew blood trying not to laugh!
DISCIPLINE191

11.

I work in a shop. So we hear snippets of conversations as people walk past the open door. Last year I heard “Well you’re just going to have to tell the museum you’ve lost it, I’m not covering for you.” and I think about that a lot.
WorldAncient7582