People shared the most abominable things they’ve seen at a UK festival and you might need a shower after this little lot (NSFW!)
11.
‘An old friend of mine at Secret Garden Party about 10 years ago, out her mind on acid and was in a portaloo trying to pull out her tampon which she was convinced had gotten too far up inside her. Leaning on the door, it fell open and she fell into the mud with her bloodied hand still up there.
Recounting this story by our tents later that night, she stopped suddenly… stared into space for a moment and then burst out laughing, fully in hysterics. Upon gathering gathering herself she explained with tears in her eyes that she had pulled the tampon out hours before the portaloo incident in the middle of a techno tent and hurled it aimlessly over her head into the crowd.’
–Raisinization
12.
‘That year at Glastonbury festival (late 90s I think) when the sanitation lorry was called in to suck rain water out of the dance tent. Except the operator accidentally set it to blow. It blew the contents of several long drops into the tent and put it out of action for a while.’
–crankgirl
13.
‘Fairly tame for this thread, but every year on the Sunday, Wilderness has a fancy dress cricket match. The scoreboard shows runs, overs, wickets and streaks. There were about 130 of the latter this year. At one point three women and three men were dancing naked on the pitch, so the DJ sticks the Macarena on. No lie, within 30 seconds there were 50 or 60 naked people on the pitch doing the Macarena.’
–allcretansareliars
14.
‘Bloke walks past with a high Vis on and a green wheelie bin. We needed directions to a certain stage so asked, he said don’t work here mate the high Vis is just for show, opened his bin lifted out a bin bag and underneath was crate upon crate of drink. He said ‘just got to look the part and they let you straight in’.’
–wellrod
15.
‘We were sat around our camp.having lunch when two guys came back to their nearby tent. One of the guys bent down to open the flap of the tent and I don’t know if he was lighting a cigarette at the time or what, but there was a WHOOMPH and the tent just disappeared in a fireball. He stood there staring in shock at the still-standing poles of the tent, melted nylon hanging off them, melted sleeping bags lying on the floor. Their camp stove had been left on or had leaked, and the tent had filled up with gas in their absence.’
–Rich6-0-6
16.
‘Someone paraglided over the Glastonbury fences and landed in the stone circle. He then sprinted off into the crowds.’
–Atoz_Bumble
17.
‘Saw a guy dressed as Peter Griffin (full head PVC mask) walking across the village, then out of nowhere a guy in a chicken costume attacks him – simultaneously security tackle chicken guy to the ground. Peter Griffin threw a good few punches not realising what was happening, he couldn’t see very well and didn’t get it was a joke, he thought he was being actually attacked. Both Peter and Chicken were fine!’
–NorthWestTown
18.
‘Not sure it fits, but we taped our mate to camp chair during Reading fest one year. We then decided to carry him to the main stage and proceeded to crowd surf him during 30 Seconds Till Mars. He got to the front and Jared Leto decided to put him on stage for a bit!’
–Zestyclose_Subject60
19.
‘T in the Park 2008. Muller Rice had a huge stall giving out free pots. It was a scorcher. The didn’t expect Muller Rice fights in the campsite. Hot Muller Rice everywhere. All over everyone’s tents. Disgusting and amazing at the same time.’
–baechesbebeachin
20.
‘Download 2010, dude walked into the middle of the pit, stripped completely naked, put a gas mask on and moshed his heart out the full set, then mask off, clothes on, and off into the sunset.’
–ok_nevermindagain
One user summed the whole sorry, disgusting mess up with the following comment…
‘The fuck is wrong with Brits?’
–Asesomegamer
Good question.