25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
The weekend is almost here and we’ve got that Friday feeling again – the one that says we should be allowed a few minutes to chill and enjoy a laugh at some of the funniest stuff Twitter/X has had to offer this week.
If you like them, put a thing on them. You know – a like or a retweet.
1.
Muslims don’t recognize Jews as God's chosen people, Jews don’t recognize Jesus as the Messiah, Protestants don’t recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world, and Evangelicals don’t recognize each other at Hooters.
— _ (@SundaeDivine) September 29, 2024
2.
Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, edit your manuscript when the baby edits their manuscript
— MadScientist (@MadS100tist) September 29, 2024
3.
"Dear God, be our shield and fortress, and protect us from the loose fit silhouette trend." pic.twitter.com/tAqvL3tbgy
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) September 29, 2024
4.
I cannot begin to describe to you all how refreshing it is to me to finally see the real issues of our times being addressed pic.twitter.com/qSE6E2RTaY
— ultramarathon running thanker (@christweetsllc) September 29, 2024
5.
Ya’ll i really thought @iamcardib wore a swim/bathing suit only to realize it’s the bald headed man pic.twitter.com/FuSsCjYoSF
— Zacbardi (@zacbardi) September 29, 2024
6.
He says he’s still not talking to you and he’ll have his tea in his room. #totp pic.twitter.com/pFsBdYzsDr
— Matt Oakley (@MattOakleyMojo) September 27, 2024
7.
My bag got pulled out of airport security for inspection. It’s wild how quickly you start to panic that you might have put 42 kilos of cocaine in there and forgotten about it.
— Kate Lister (@k8_lister) September 28, 2024
8.
If they had the first world war now, woke soldiers would spend it writing poems and being gay
— Rob Palk (@robpalkwriter) September 27, 2024
9.
If you started chewing a piece of this as you started reading this tweet, it would be completely flavorless right abouuuuut…. Now. pic.twitter.com/7OpQCgRHAw
— Chef Reactions (@ChefReactions) September 30, 2024
10.
People ask why I'm still here. You're telling me I get to watch a top 5 asshole in the world lose $44-billion in real time, and you want me to leave???
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) October 2, 2024
11.
“don’t use q-tips to clean your ears, you’ll just push the wax in further!!” well, yeah, sure, except for my special technique. if I use my special technique then it’s fine.
— Avery Edison (@aedison) September 30, 2024
12.
The word 'posh' does a lot of heavy lifting in the UK – it can refer to anyone from landed gentry with a title and several thousand acres to someone who buys name brand biscuits at Tesco
— Eleanor Morton ($8) (@EleanorMorton) September 30, 2024