‘What’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard someone say on a speed awareness course?’ 25 comments that will bring you screeching to a halt

If you’ve ever been on a speed awareness course, you’ll know it’s strangely like being back in school.

Everyone falls into the familiar role they took in class: the clown, the nerd, the back-of-the-room gigglers, and, of course, the mouthy blowhard who loves to talk back.

Over on Reddit forum AskUK, user FrankSarcasm asked ‘What’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard said by a fellow participant in a speed awareness course?’ and followed it up with their own example…

Today a fellow participant shared his tip to quickly get rid of tailgaters by accelerating and braking at the same time. They hadn’t quite read the room.

And there were plenty of folks with examples of comments from people similarly lacking in both contrition and self-awareness.

1.

‘I was in a Zoom speed awareness course last month and one woman wouldn’t stop going on about how she had a convertible sports car so it’s really easy to speed and she didn’t mean to. Every time she opened her mouth she said something about her convertible sports car.’
–BigNastyNugz

2.

‘Instructor doing some small talk, asking how long the journey home is for everyone. Guy said ’45 minutes, but I’ll do it it half an hour’.’
–propernorty

3.

‘In answer to the question what does this sign mean (national speed limit) one elderly gentleman raised hand with confidence and said 100mph, only to be confidently corrected by a second elderly gentleman the initials N.S.L under the image means ‘no speed limit’. So when ever passing that sign both of them did their best to hit triple figures.’
–simply_smigs

4.

‘I did one years ago. Everyone was asked to share their story of why they were speeding. We went round their room sharing predictable, mundane stories of running late for work or roads that had recently changed from a 40mph limit to 30mph.

All except one middle aged woman who came out with: ‘I was driving home from the hospital having just had eye surgery so I couldn’t really see the speedometer so I had no idea how fast I was going’.’
–elalmohada26

5.

”Hitting a child at 25mph wouldn’t kill them. That’s propaganda’.’
–Vivid_Transition4807

6.

‘They asked us what are the reasons we speed. Most people said a normal response such as ‘by accident’ or ‘in a rush’ etc. Then this one guy said ‘I love the thrill’. Maybe not the best thing to say.’
–lildogeggs

7.

”What annoys me is, and no offence to the women in the room, is when people don’t let you merge in from the slip lane so you have to speed up and undertake them’.’
–boojes

8.

‘I was on one with a ‘car enthusiast’ who tried to chime in at all opportunities and argue that speed limits in the UK were too low and antiquated, not relevant to modern cars. He claimed that he was a good enough driver to comfortably be able to drive at any speed & the danger laid with other road users who didn’t share his ethos.’
–watsee

9.

‘Girl on mine said ‘I was lighting up and didn’t notice the speed change’. The instructor looked like he was about to blow.’
–No_Direction_4566

10.

‘I was amazed that several people believed the left hand lane on a motorway was for going 60mph or slower, the middle lane was for 60-70mph, and the right hand lane was for going over 70. I’ve always wondered who are these numpties driving along in the middle lane when there’s nothing to their left, and now I know. The bit that still puzzles me is how they got that idea in the first place, and why they were so confident it was true.’
–EsotericSnail

11.

‘When asked ‘Why are you here?’ A woman at the back said ‘Because my husband asked me to come’. She didn’t return for the next part of the session.’
–beachyfeet

12.

‘When asked about the chances of survival after being hit at 30, 40, 50mph, one gentleman was adamant that you’d survive being hit at 60mph because he hit a dog at 60 and it didn’t die.’
–KidInd