‘What’s the worst thing you’ve ever heard someone say on a speed awareness course?’ 25 comments that will bring you screeching to a halt
13.
‘On one that I was on a question was asked about what you shouldn’t do at the wheel. A guy on my table shouted ‘Wank!’. Bit of an awkward silence after that one…’
–suziewoozie420
14.
‘I did one well over a decade ago. There was a German guy that was furious and kept saying how he wouldn’t have been in trouble on the autobahn.
The lady leading the course put a photo of a short hill on the projector and advised you should slow down when approaching such a hill. She then asked what could be on the other side of the hill that we couldn’t see?
His response: ‘The fucking pigs trying to catch me speeding’.’
–secretlife798
15.
‘Did mine over Zoom in Lockdown. Some old guy just arguing with the instructor that he shouldn’t be there because it was an honest mistake and they should be going after the boy racers with loud exhausts parked up at McDs. He ended up getting booted from the chat.’
–JavaRuby2000
16.
‘When asked why we were there, one guy advised ‘Stage 3 Hybrid Turbo, innit’. The guy delivering the course just rolled his eyes and moved onto the next participant.’
–Temporary-Zebra97
17.
‘Well over half the room had no idea how average speed checks work. They said it must be a con to make them pay a fine because they slow down to well below the limit when they are at the cameras. They didn’t understand that blasting their way along at 90mph between the cameras was a factor in calculating their average speed.’
–TheBestBigAl
18.
‘When asked why we were there, one guy said ‘I wasn’t driving, it was my boss, but he has too many points and would lose his licence, so he said I had to take the blame for him otherwise I’d lose my job’.’
–bristolvic01
19.
‘We were shown a picture of the motorway (clearly the motorway) and some bloke in his 50s thought the speed limit would be 30mph. I didn’t realise you could be sent on speed awareness courses for going too slow but here this guy was.’
–PennyyPickle
20.
‘The guy who kept mentioning that his car was a decommissioned police BMW and that it ‘literally can’t go slower than 80mph’. To which the entirely unimpressed instructor expressed his surprise at the existence of a car that can go 0-80mph without going any of the speeds in-between.’
–QueenSashimi
21.
‘This old dear got caught doing 36mph. She said it was only just over the speed limit when the facilitator challenged her and said if a child ran out in front of her, the excess speed may kill them. She said ‘Well, they shouldn’t be playing out in the road, it would be their fault’. Everybody’s jaw dropped.’
–Phil9903
22.
‘There was an older lady in the group. How to deal with tailgaters, or people who ride up your arse, got brought up. Everyone took turns saying what they do in that situation. The older lady’s turn is up and she says that she always keeps a packet of Mint Imperials in her car, if someone is too close to her, she opens the sun roof and just throws one out so it hits the car behind.’
–Sirlacker
23.
‘An absolute plonker that kept arguing with the woman leading the course. He announced that the UK are the only country to have speed limits, that cars are designed to be fast and that he will ‘never stop speeding’.’
–Content_Being2535
24.
‘When asked what the amber traffic light meant a man responded ‘On your marks’.’
–cerisegoat
And here’s why it pays not to completely regress into being an annoying, belligerent teenager…
25.
‘If you fuck about, you can fail the course so just bear that in mind. A mate of mine did one, they told him at the end that he’d failed and he was still getting the points.’
–steak-and-kidney-pud
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