‘What’s the most hauntingly specific insult you’ve ever had?’ – 27 hilariously laser-guided put downs
Have you ever received an insult that was so specific, so thought out, just so incredibly precise that it cut you to your very core?
Well it turns out you are not alone. Over on Twitter the fabulous Sarah Dempster just posed the following question…
What’s the most hauntingly specific insult you’ve ever received? I once made a joke about Dennis Waterman’s dentures and a man wrote to tell me I was “obviously lonely”.
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) October 8, 2024
And received some incredibly precise, painful and simply unforgettably specific answers.
1.
when my younger brother was about 8 or 9 he declined to explain the appeal of a Michael Jackson album to me as I “am not a very funky person.”
— Mhairi McFarlane (@MhairiMcF) October 8, 2024
2.
I thought my daughter’s “you look like the google search for nerd” was particularly brutal. https://t.co/DGpF6LUs95
— Sam Freedman (@Samfr) October 9, 2024
3.
When I was in my twenties and had dark brushed back hair and a black beard two teenagers walked past me in Guildford and one hissed “SUTCLIFFE!” at me
— Count Mysterioso️ (@MysteriosoX) October 8, 2024
4.
Got yelled at by a drunk in Guildford town centre once: ‘Fuckin’ state of you, I bet Thursday’s your favourite day’ https://t.co/VVkkGEPgfn
— realironhand (@realironhand) October 8, 2024
5.
“The moderator of this page, @robmanuel, looks like Jonathan Ross crossed with a middle-aged lesbian”
— robmanuel (@robmanuel) October 8, 2024
6.
13 years old, got called ‘Chi Chi’ like the giant panda as I had quite dark patches under my eyes. Hated it. Put me right off my bamboo at lunchtimes.
— (@timolsky) October 8, 2024
7.
I was once told by someone at work that I reminded them of that bloke from The Office. “Ricky Gervais?”, I enquired, only to be told, “No. David Brent”.
— The Time Being (@namomnetempus) October 8, 2024
8.
Doing a doc about Abraham Lincoln, during a drama recon scene a makeup woman said to me “No need for anything for you, you already have period accurate teeth”
— Willard Foxton Todd (@WillardFoxton) October 8, 2024
9.
Someone I really fancied said to me, “Not now, maybe when you’re older. You’ll be really sexy when you’re older.” I wouldn’t have minded, but I was already 29.
— Alexander Fox (@AlexanderFoxEtc) October 8, 2024
10.
I was once told I’ve “really embraced the reality of being ‘The Funny One'” in my friendship group (of admittedly very much better looking people)
Also that I’d make a good dinner lady. Both by the same guy.
— Lis (@NeonHooligan) October 8, 2024
11.
Went out with a woman who was eulogising men with pianists’ hands, and then said that I had ‘farmers’ hands’. I don’t have a problem with farmers or their hands myself, but it was clearly meant to be a put down.
— Gavin Bradshaw (@MrGavinBradshaw) October 8, 2024
12.
My son – then 2 – opened this page and exclaimed, “Daddy!” https://t.co/fjmDhDe6WS pic.twitter.com/kEjyvYI4t5
— Andy Bruce (@BruceReuters) October 9, 2024
13.
A drama school tutor told me a visiting director had said I had ‘something special’. “And what do you think?”, I asked, sensing skepticism. “I can’t see it myself” he replied. https://t.co/nvXFAuPKWZ
— Ariel Anderssen ❤️MV Sub of the Year❤️ (@ArielAnderssen) October 9, 2024
14.
This thread is brilliant. Mine:
1) you look great; you coud be on the cover of the Next catalogue.(cousin)
2) I didn’t say I didn’t like your haircut, I just don’t see the point of it. (MIL)
3) when you smile, your lips are paper thin (daughter).— Charlotte Sones (@SonesCharlotte) October 8, 2024