25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Welcome to our weekly round-up of new posts that have made us laugh. With everything that’s going on in the world *waves hand*, nobody would blame you for wanting a distraction for a few minutes.
If you find someone new, maybe give them a follow and make your feed just that bit funnier.
1.
An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But a tooth is worth half an eye, so an eye for two teeth also works, if you’re low on eyes.
— God (@TheTweetOfGod) October 7, 2024
2.
I thought this was a columnist for the Telegraph pic.twitter.com/LZwPT0wLsS
— Matt Leys (@mattleys) October 8, 2024
3.
This year I’m doing No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-November – where for the month of November I only listen to 2-Unlimited
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) October 9, 2024
4.
my life changed when i learned some house spiders can't survive outside so now i just catch them and release them in a friend's home
— derek guy (@dieworkwear) October 8, 2024
5.
What if there were a liquid that tasted like acidic, sour dirt?
– inventor of cranberry juice— Horatio Quartzjixler (@Quartzjixler) October 7, 2024
6.
No bother. What questions are we asking them? pic.twitter.com/7V5RCPKX1M
— Colm O'Regan (@colmoregan) October 8, 2024
7.
Who called this show DNA Journey and not Gene Hunt?#dnajourney pic.twitter.com/x0L0UB6iso
— Dan Vine (@MrDVine) October 9, 2024
8.
Man sits by me on train.
MAN: Loads of psychopaths around here
ME: Really?
MAN: Loads mate
ME: How'd you know?
MAN: There's signs aren't there?
ME: I guess?
MAN: I love them
(47 minutes of awkward silence.)
Man leaves train, he has a bike. I realise he was saying 'cycle paths'.— Paul Watson (@paul_c_watson) October 4, 2024
9.
Is there any corner of the world unexplored by the white men of the UK entertainment industry pic.twitter.com/cGadhKDE2Z
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) October 8, 2024
10.
what if we watched a BBC comedy together and I told you every time I recognise an actor from another show
— Arlo ☆ (@HeraSpaceRobot) October 8, 2024
11.
Finally watching WILLARD (1971). This movie is basically “incel Ratatouille.” pic.twitter.com/H8obbmmfXa
— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) October 8, 2024
12.
Really disappointed to click on this and find they aren’t singing ‘You Can Call Me Al’ pic.twitter.com/QMAWhhxrO8
— Steph ️ (@66Steph82) October 9, 2024