‘What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen happen in a Wetherspoons?’ – 19 answers that will have you vowing to never drink again

There’s a lot to be said about Wetherspoons, both good and bad. On the one hand the drinks are cheap and they make use of historic buildings that may not have found another purpose.

On the other, not everyone’s the biggest fan of owner Tim Marti, and the toilets are always half a mile from the bar down nine flights of stairs.

Either way, Wetherspoons is a British institution. With this in mind, user suziewoozie420 posed the following question on the r/AskUK subreddit:

What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen happen in a Wetherspoons?

And got plenty of answers from people who have clearly spent plenty of time on their local ‘Spoons (and we’ll have to take their word for it, obviously).

1.

‘Saw a couple having their wedding reception in the Selby Wetherspoons who had obviously just done it impromptu without telling the staff. Bride in full white dress and loads of rough looking relatives standing up doing speeches and all sorts, fucking astounding.’
–dollyrar

2.

‘Saw a bloke set fire to his hair in the Spoons in Friar Street, Reading, He was pissed and having an argument with his girlfriend. Apparently, he felt this would somehow ‘resolve’ the situation.’
–yossanator

3.

‘I saw a Wetherspoons with a toilet on the ground floor once. Just let that sink in.’
–koopa35

4.

‘Once saw a fella sat there dressed as a smurf, by himself, just having a quiet pint. Then a woman came in, started screaming at him about what a knobhead he was, poured his pint all over him and left.’
–MIKBOO5

5.

’10am, Portishead weather spoons, an older man (60ish) sat down with a laptop of an orchestra and he was acting as a conductor very enthusiastically.’
–WhoSlappedThePie

6.

‘Went in on Halloween once and everything seemed normal except for the lone tyrannosaurus rex sitting at the bar nursing a pint of Stella.’
–gloomsbury

7.

‘Chinese Elvis impersonator break out into song. It was very bad and he was trying to lure people to his pub on the other side of town which was always nearly empty. Apparently he went to every single pub in town doing it.’
–Tenthdeviation

8.

‘2005, early July, 7am, Weatherspoons Terminal 5 at Heathrow Airport, sat with friends having a coffee before our flight. A guy walks in, he looks like Lemmy. One of my friends goes to ask ‘Are you Lemmy?’.

‘Yep’ says Lemmy. ‘Can we get a photo with you?’. ‘Yeah, just let me get a Guinness and I’ll be over’. Fucking legend came over for a photo, true to his word, pint of the black stuff in hand.’
–Greglebowski74

9.

‘Someone came with a goat and tied it up outside when they went in to get a drink, there was loads of people eating in the courtyard and the goat stank of piss and bits of it’s fur were being blown off in the wind onto diners tables. Some kids let it loose and it was last seen in the Sainsburys car park never to be seen again.’
–virusofthemind