An American asked if people in the UK put the kettle on every time someone knocks on the door – 22 deeply British responses
12.
‘It’s definitely the case in real life. Both the following are reported to be true from interviews in national newspapers:
In 1982, a burglar (a painter and decorator by trade), Michael Fagan broke into Buckingham Palace (?????!!!!!) and managed to disturb the Queen in her bedroom, from her sleep. Legend is that she then said to him: Would you like a cup of tea? However, according to him, she then ran out of the bedroom in her Liberty print nightdress and bare feet and eventually a footman came in ….and offered him a drink.
On a different occasion, a workman, Kevin Andrews, was legit doing a job in Buckingham Palace and a woman asked if he wanted some tea. He replied: ‘Yeah. In a mug. Two sugars. Builder’s tea. I don’t want any of that nonsense I had the last time I was here, all that fine china and all that saucer stuff’. A little later, the woman returned with the tea, and he looked up to find it was the Queen.’
–tmstms
13.
‘This is the british way. Unless it’s beer o’clock.’
–Figgzyvan
14.
‘I don’t drink tea myself, and I live on my own. But I have two large boxes of teabags (so they can choose their preference), and always have hot water and milk available, as well as sugar most of the time. Just in case you have a visitor. Yes, this happens. My parents will literally finish a cup of tea and a few minutes later say they’re ‘gasping’ for another.’
–ledow
15.
‘Yes. I forgot to offer my friend one once, and he looked at me like I’d forgotten to put on pants that morning, before asking if I was going to offer him a cuppa or not. I’m still embarrassed thinking about it, and it was so long ago he’s now dead.’
–lavenderacid
16.
‘Yeah. If you pop round to see a mate and they don’t offer to put the kettle on, you’ll start to question if they’re really a mate at all. Also, stopping offering tea during the visit is basically how we ask people to leave.’
–SHN378
17.
‘100%. I had an Openreach man come round the other day and although I knew it was a 2min job and most of it at the outside box over the road, I offered a cup off tea. Most people say no, but he did and we had a good 10 min chat about kitchens. It was really nice. Just seems like good manners.’
–Cheap_Interview_3795
18.
‘Someone knocks on front my door, I’m not answering it. Probably the TV licence inspector. Anyone who I want to visit comes in the back, as is the British way.’
–rainbowroobear
19.
‘Yep. It’s a sly way of letting people know how much time you are willing to dedicate to them. No offer of tea basically means ‘I’m hoping this visit is over in under 10 minutes’.’
–kat_d9152
20.
‘I used to be a community Midwife and I’ve honestly never, ever in my life drunk so much tea as I did when I was on shift and visiting people at home. Perk of the job.’
–stinglikeameg
21.
‘Yes, if someone visits you put the kettle on to make tea or coffee. If you don’t it’s basically the same as punching them full in the face.’
–markhewitt1978
22.
‘Thank you for noticing that they ‘put the kettle on’ and not saying ‘give me a sec while I fire up the microwave’.’
–-Whitelines-
Plenty of achingly British opinions there, but this one said it best…
‘Yes. But: if you hate someone or for some reason the person is very much unwelcome you can bestow the grievous insult of opening the door and saying grimly ‘You’ll have had your tea’.
On the face of it that means ‘Oh, you don’t need tea as you’ve just had some’. In reality it means ‘You are so unwelcome I will not even offer you a cup of tea, you despicable low-life’.
I have been waiting all my life for the opportunity to say this.’
–EldritchCleavage