27 weird and wonderful jokes to get us all into the Halloween spirit
Despite the Christmas products and decorations in most of the shops, it’s Halloween. If you haven’t bought some suitably cheap sweets by now – tough luck! You’re going to have to fork out for the expensive stuff.
Whether you’re planning to take a gang of kids to knock on neighbours’ doors, thinking of turning off the lights and hiding until it’s all over, or dressing up and going out partying, you can get yourself into the right spirit by reading these Halloween-themed jokes.
1.
I think I'll wear this to a Halloween party, get in people's faces, keep interrupting them, follow them when they try to walk away and say I've come as a TEMU ad. pic.twitter.com/a0neDQPQBK
— Michael Manoel Chaves (parody) (@qandamazon) October 29, 2024
2.
Chaining myself to the bed tonight, not because I'm a werewolf, but because there are bags of unattended Halloween candy all over the house.
— Brock (@Brock_Teee) October 28, 2024
3.
Instead of sweets, I handed out copies of my books to the trick-or-treaters. The sense of satisfaction kept me warm as I washed the egg residue from my windows the next morning.
— Ben Davis (@bendavis_86) October 29, 2024
4.
So clever how they made these samosas look like hats. pic.twitter.com/1H2gmL7glP
— Rob Temple (@RobTemple101) October 26, 2024
5.
Me: [spends $13 on a pumpkin so my son can make a jack-o-lantern]
His jack-o-lantern: pic.twitter.com/ct9SJNdTUK
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) October 29, 2024
6.
Happy Halloween, Detectives. What are you dressing up as this year?
I will be dressed as out of shape man on a couch, if I’m lucky.#HappyHalloween pic.twitter.com/aQDRnhxGBa
— The Darkside Detective (@ds_detective) October 31, 2024
7.
I’m going to be something very scary for Halloween. I think I’ll dress up as my phone battery at 2%.
— Mac Dickson (@MacDicksonShow) October 30, 2024
8.
I’m a therapist and for Halloween I decorated my room with this holographic frame of creepy Victorian children. The only client who noticed asked me, “Are those your kids?”
Kind of. Yes. pic.twitter.com/ff5fcgW6oO
— Lil Bit (@LizerReal) October 30, 2024
9.
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed.
At first I was afraid…then I was petrified.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) October 30, 2024
10.
Going to a Halloween party for the first time in years. Practicing my small talk pic.twitter.com/T6cCK5kk7I
— Meg (@megannn_lynne) October 28, 2024
11.
Parents I’m begging you this Halloween
check your kids’ candy
There’s good stuff in there! Peanut butter cups, Kit Kats, Mr. Goodbars, Twix, full size snickers!
treat your selves
— Jonathan Edward Durham (@thisone0verhere) October 30, 2024
12.
Halloween is great for teaching kids to take candy from strangers.
— Emily ™ (@emily_tweets) October 30, 2024
13.
Me: *walking around, middle finger raised*
Boss: that is NOT a costume..
— SD (@StupiDucker) October 28, 2024
14.
Guess for Halloween my 6yo is going as an Amazon package that was supposed to arrive last week
— meghan (@deloisivete) October 30, 2024