25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
I'm thoroughly cheesed off with Tesco, Morrisons, Asda, Aldi, Lidl and Sainsbury's.
I've asked for tickets to their staff Christmas parties, only to be told that i don't work for them.
How is this possible when i use their self service tills?— Just call me Les ❤️ (@lesmartin7) November 10, 2024
14.
I always listen to podcasts while I'm cleaning my house. Even the dullest chore can be enjoyable if you clean your house at the same time.
— Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1) November 10, 2024
15.
he died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish
— The Reverend Dr. Karl Pathös (@dankcharnley) November 14, 2024
16.
— ＣΛＴΞＳ (@WillCates44) November 13, 2024
17.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
For example:
– Jill ate her friend's sandwich.
– Jill ate her friend's colon.— . (@jtothet) November 11, 2024
18.
“Did you read the fine print?”
Me: I didn’t even read the large print
— Lori (@Cornjerker78) November 15, 2024
19.
Europeans: “I am holidaying. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day”
Americans: pic.twitter.com/LK2mLLxbce
— Neil Renic (@NC_Renic) November 9, 2024
20.
the most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower
— mutable joe (@mutablejoe) November 14, 2024
21.
if I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.
— Dan (@dadopotamus) November 14, 2024
22.
-Ordering a pizza $40
-Having it delivered $5
-Having your kids eat the whole thing before you get home
Sliceless
— PieGuy (@ilovepie84) November 14, 2024
23.
saw that musical. didn’t care for it. pic.twitter.com/NoG0CKjEjv
— NurseBrianRN (@rn_murse) November 14, 2024
24.
My wife just randomly put on a Gregorian Monks CD and started flicking through a magazine, which made me feel a bit uneasy. I never leaf anything to chants.
— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) November 13, 2024
25.
John Krasinski is People’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2024. pic.twitter.com/He1GgiHvEk
— Acolt (@CarlosAcolt) November 13, 2024
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Image Pixabay