In ‘This is not a proper country’ news, the Daily Mail has discovered ‘fancy woke’ sandwiches – 23 tasty take-downs
Like a farmer rotating crops, the Daily Mail runs through a repeating pattern of ‘Meghan Markle did it’, ‘Immigration baaaaaad’‘, ‘Look how old/overweight/unattractive this woman is’, ‘Keir Starmer is a Communist’, ‘Young people are the worst’, and ‘Everything we don’t like is woke’.
In what must have been the best day in the DM office since they found the recipe for National Trust scones, they’ve managed to combine the last two categories with some astonishingly self-parodying reporting on sandwiches.
Fancy. Woke. Fillings.
— Twlldun (@twlldun.bsky.social) November 18, 2024 at 11:49 AM
The survey, conducted by Allinson’s bakery, into the nation’s sandwich habits led the DM to declare all these options woke –
Avocado
Chicken
Continental cheese
Crisps
Being hot
A lack of onion
Which suggests that serving a hot chicken, avocado and brie sandwich with crisps might just make Mail Editor Ted Verity‘s head explode.
Let’s get to the reviews.
1.
What the fuck is a “woke filling”?
“I’ll have a bap with feminism and the Martin Luther King ‘I Have a Dream’ speech on it please. No butter” x pic.twitter.com/MH6SHaHx89
— Buckers (@deathofbuckley) November 18, 2024
2.
morning, I'm sorry to inform you that sandwiches are woke now www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article…
— Gaby Hinsliff (@gabyhinsliff.bsky.social) November 18, 2024 at 10:55 AM
3.
According to @DailyMailUK a sandwich filling can be “woke”. They really are fucking idiots aren’t they ? pic.twitter.com/TCyoMlg6L7
— Paddy Briggs ️ (@PaddyBriggs) November 18, 2024
4.
won't somebody please think of the sandwiches www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article…
— Rob Price ️ (@robaeprice.bsky.social) November 18, 2024 at 7:18 PM
5.
"Is this the woke hotline? I'd like to report a sandwich, please"
— Steve Peers (@stevepeers.bsky.social) November 18, 2024 at 5:30 PM
6.
The Mail reporting on all the important things. Only eat woke sandwiches from now on. https://t.co/8VzcciiYdI
— The_Ouroboros (@The_Ouroboros__) November 18, 2024
7.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article…
FFS….Maybe it’s because there are more foods available to use as fillings and people are not so boring in their choices …
— Helen Of Coy ©️ (@helenofcoy.bsky.social) November 18, 2024 at 11:16 AM
8.
I remember when a sandwich were a PROPER sandwich. Proper stale factory bread, wit’ proper cheese slices and proper salad dressing, all wrapped up in proper sweaty plastic.
Aye. Them were’t days. https://t.co/ESzPQQ7ygG— Simon Myerson KC ️ (@SCynic1) November 18, 2024
9.
GenZ kids are committing treason against King Charles the Third of Wales, or something, by eating “woke” sandwiches. What’s in a woke sandwich? Chicken! Avocado! Something they call ‘continental cheese’, which appears to be a longwinded way of saying Brie.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article…— Shirley Temple Bar (@shirleybar.bsky.social) November 18, 2024 at 4:10 PM
10.
So apparently, now, sandwich fillings are “woke“, unless it is ham and mustard.
Previously, they have claimed that muesli, and watching history documentaries, are “woke”.
This is why anybody using the word “woke other than ironically, is a Cunt. pic.twitter.com/d8dUh6NSEI
— John O'Connell (@jdpoc) November 18, 2024
11.
I was really hoping that was fake. Nope I’m hoping it’s satire. www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article…
— Don Reece (@donreece.me) November 18, 2024 at 2:14 PM
12.
Man realises he is eating a woke sandwich.
— Mr Roger Quimbly (@rogerquimbly.bsky.social) November 18, 2024 at 5:11 PM