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Someone left a crappy fake review and the restaurant manager’s Wagatha Christiesque response was simply delicious

Poke Staff. Updated November 26th, 2024

It can’t be easy keeping a cool head when someone is falsely criticising your work, especially when they might cause potential customers to think again, but that’s exactly what one restaurant manager did when a woman posted a terrible review on Yelp.

This is the one-star panning that caught his attention.

Maggot in the food and how disgusting the place looks inside. I can't imagine the amount of bacteria hidden inside.
A picture of a maggot in some food.

That’s the kind of review that can ruin a business, so the manager was obviously shocked and concerned. He looked into the matter.

His reply strayed into Wagatha Christie territory.

Initially when i saw this review i was very worried that there was a problem in the kitchen. I asked the head chef, the line cooks, the dishwasher, and the servers if they knew what dish this was. Nobody could figure out what it was. The owner also tried to reach out to you with no luck.
Things weren’t quite as she’d suggested – in fact they weren’t at all as she’d suggested.
I looked at your previous yelps to get an idea of who i was dealing with, and i saw a picture you posted of a burger with a 1 star review of ___ Bar and Grill in ____. I did a reverse image search and it turns out that it is a stock photo available all over the web with a keyword
search for rotten hamburger. So immediately nothing you say has any bearing anymore. You need to find a hobby. Maybe get a cat. Something to occupy your time other than writing false and inflammatory yelp reviews of various local businesses trying to make a living.

Shockingly, this kind of thing isn’t an isolated or even rare occurrence.

Sometimes the call is coming from inside the house.

I work at a restaurant, and a BOH employee rage quit one day. He then proceeded to post all over social media, Yelp, Google, etc that we are dirty, infested with cockroaches, serve expired food, etc. (None of which is true, we have a full time cleaning guy ffs!) Just super immature, and unnecessary, not to mention... if it's so s**tty and filthy, why did you work here for three years?!

Sometimes the complaints were genuine cases of ‘mistaken identity’.

The “pubic hair”
I'm a health inspector and false complaints (particularly about maggots in the food) come in all the time. Usually they're from disgruntled ex-employees or customers who felt like the staff were unkind or unfair to them for whatever the reason. Other times, they simply don't know what they're looking at. I had someone call about a white pubic hair on their Banh mi sandwhich. It turned out to be a bean sprout

The “mould”
I served a pizza slice once where a woman came back asking for another because it had mold on it. We gave her a slice that didn't have as much oregano on it

But also – just because a complaint is genuine, doesn’t mean it’s reasonable.

When I was freshly 18 and still in high school, I worked at a restaurant that had just opened. It was an expensive steak house. One of our first yelp reviews was someone complaining that I had accidentally spilled water onto the table when reaching over to pour a glass from the pitcher because we weren't allowed to pick up the water glasses to pour them. The review said that I was poorly trained. As if everyone working there had gone to serving school and were professional water pourers. Who leaves a review like that?

Let’s face it – this is a good point.

I don't even understand why anyone would use yelp reviews to help them choose a restaurant or anything else. I mean, let's see, should I eat at this place? Let me check with the cesspool of random anonymous liars known as the internet to help me decide

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Source Bored Panda Image Bored Panda, Pixabay