Elf on the Shelf season is here again, and Bluesky brought the jokes – 19 festive favourites
For any parents of babies or for future parents who may be considering getting involved in the ‘tradition’ of having an Elf on the Shelf watching over your little darlings throughout December, we have two pieces of advice – don’t and no, really …don’t.
The demonic offspring of Chucky and Where’s Wally has only been around since 2005, but it’s already claimed the sanity and stretched the emotional and creative reserves of many a parent or guardian on the ‘planning and executing a new elf prank every bloody day for three and a half weeks’ train.
On the plus side, it’s great joke fodder – and Bluesky had it covered.
1.
You’ve heard of elf on the shelf. Now get ready for not having kids and instead staying out late and having a bunch of money!
— Sooz Kempner (@soozuk.bsky.social) December 1, 2024 at 5:10 PM
2.
December the first.
— Dr Dean Burnett (@garwboy.bsky.social) December 1, 2024 at 8:58 AM
3.
The only elf on a shelf I accept is Legolas standing on a rocky shelf surveying the plains with his elf eyes.
— Louie Stowell (@louiestowell.bsky.social) December 2, 2024 at 7:49 AM
4.
The kids have requested I stop doing Elf on the Shelf
— Sarcastic momma and really fucking inappropriate (@sarcasticmom69.bsky.social) December 2, 2024 at 6:25 PM
5.
my future children will never have an elf on the shelf, while I think it’s important to foster the Christmas spirit I want my children to hold my same values (that snitches get stitches)
— Stoned cold fox (@roastmalone.bsky.social) November 28, 2024 at 12:13 AM
6.
You’ve heard of Elf on a Shelf, but have you heard of
— Travis Akers (@travisakers.bsky.social) December 2, 2024 at 12:40 AM
7.
PRO TIP: If you forget to move the Shelf Elf just say temporary paralysis is common in elves that were mass-bred in southern Shelf Elf mills.
— Rodney Lacroix (@rodlacroix.bsky.social) December 2, 2024 at 11:58 AM
8.
You’ve heard of elf on a shelf, now get ready for…
— BUCKERS (@deathofbuckley.bsky.social) December 2, 2024 at 7:26 PM
9.
Only a matter of time until we get an elf on the shelf horror movie
— localswampgay (@localswampgay.bsky.social) November 26, 2024 at 3:53 PM
10.
ELF: do you have a girlfriend
OTHER ELF: yeah but you don't know her she goes to a different shelf