25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
Had a piece of broccoli once that looked like Columbo.
“Just one more thing..,” pic.twitter.com/eGePViLaOH— Plink2 (@plinketyplink2) December 5, 2024
14.
Doctor: There is a drawback to this drug. It really knocks you out. You could be dead to the world for 12 hours or more.
Me: And the drawback?
— John Lyon (@JohnLyonTweets) December 1, 2024
15.
Me: *sits down near my cat*
My cat: That reminds me, I need to bathe loudly.— Hunter the Bounty Dog (@huntergraybeal) December 3, 2024
16.
Saw a poll where Trump was listed as the third most attractive President so I think we really need to focus on improving eyeball health in the United States.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 30, 2024
17.
The women working in my office will wear a live bear on their back if it's lower than 71°
— nice things I say to myself (@meantomyself) December 1, 2024
18.
Are we sure the wise men who brought frankincense and myrrh weren't just trying to sign Mary up for their essential oils pyramid scheme?
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) December 4, 2024
19.
They should do a Calculator App Wrapped where it shows you the dumbest calculations you did this year. Real moron stuff like 20% off 20, or 1×8, or 6+9
— Ciara Knight (@Ciara_Knight) December 5, 2024
20.
Sorry I’m late. I was wrapping presents on the floor and it took me 30 minutes to get back up.
— Kristen (@Kica333) December 4, 2024
21.
A friend's old roommate handmade guitars from Canadian maple with hand cut mother of pearl inlays. He showed me several works in progress and how many hours it took for each step. Truly a labor of love. I learned that day that if you follow your passion, you can bore anyone.
— SentientBunnySuit (@SuitSentient) December 4, 2024
22.
Why do people just go caroling at Christmas time, I’d love someone to knock on my door and sing me a Weezer album from beginning to end and then leave
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) December 4, 2024
23.
Oh good- my nativity scene from Temu arrived. pic.twitter.com/KUYnlBRi3H
— WhatserName (@IamEveryDayPpl) December 4, 2024
24.
Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!
— Satan (@s8n) December 3, 2024
25.
Yes, Netflix. I'm still fucking here. I didn't manage to get my life together and go off to do something useful in 3 episodes of Cobra Kai.
— Turgid Verse (@gullyvuhr) December 3, 2024
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25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Image Geoff Norcott