This funny but terrible advice to an American on the proper use of English mustard really spiced up the internet

Poke Staff. Updated December 13th, 2024

We hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but the UK doesn’t have the best reputation when it comes to cuisine, and no amount of TikTokkers being pleasantly surprised by beans on toast is going to change that.

However, over on Reddit’s r/CasualUK forum, one American decided to give a beef sandwich essential a try – English mustard, to be precise.

u/woofwooflol asked –

‘American here, trying British mustard for the first time. What should I expect?’

They went with a classic.

Some people gave serious replies.

Had copious amounts on my cold ham and turkey last night. Too good.
Waddyatalkinabout

English mustard has the power of wasabi. American mustard has the spice of ketchup…
ShipsCptn

A cheese, ham and mustard toastie is heavenly.
AltoChick

Throw a generous serving in some mashed potato, you’ll never look back.
Acceptable-Quail9538

Others – well – didn’t. These were our top ten.

Best way is to eat it as a yoghurt.
Quick-Cream3483

Just chug the jar like any real Brit would.
ActivatedBiscuit

My grandpapa would always use an old army trick of rubbing a little bit underneath each eyelid, to check for quality.
SlipperyShoess

Wash it down with a mug of Worcestershire sauce.
Nekokamiguru

It’s very mild, it’s best rubbed on your upper lip.
Responsible-Basil470

Don’t use any more than 1 jar per sandwich.
Puzzleheaded_Job3131

For best results spread all over your back on a scorching day.
Mascachopo

I like to use a straw and do an aggressive snort. Really try and get the whole jar done in one.
CroodOyl

To see if it’s gone off, simply put a small dab inside each nostril.
BabaJosefsen

10.

Add a couple of tablespoons to your cereal – works with all of them – cornflakes, porridge… it’s pretty mild, so don’t be afraid to lick the spoon clean afterwards.
EonsOfZaaphod

As it’s party season, this anecdote from u/citorn might prove useful.

When my sister moved to the uk and I was back in Brazil still (I’ve been here for 9 years now) she went back to visit and took one of these with her.

I absolutely love mustard and came back from a big night out around 6am and was really hungry.

On top of the kitchen table there was this and some bread and l thought oh that will do.

I’ve put a generous amount of this mustard on a tiny bit of bread and ate it.

2 seconds after I was sober, coughing, nostrils cleared and cryin’.

In case you were wondering, this was u/woofwooflol‘s verdict.

I did a spoonful and I feel like I saw god.

Two spoonfuls and you can smell colours.

Source r/CasualUK Image whoiswasiq on Pexels, r/CasualUK