Never forget the time Bristol Council banned a cheese toastie van in case it led to motorcycle gangs
In a move straight out of the “health and safety gone mad” playbook, Bristol Council has announced that it is refusing a licence for a van to sell cheese toasties in the park, as a measure to prevent an influx of motorcycle gangs.
The Bristol Post shared the story, back in 2019.
Please enjoy these snippets of the Post’s excellent report.
“Horfield ward councillor Claire Hiscott told members the mobile outlet could “lure” secondary school pupils into absconding.”
“Historically we had antisocial behaviour, not just motorbikes, from young adults gathering with alcohol and causing a disturbance.”
“We’re looking to replicate coffee and ice cream rather than a burger or chips van. That’s not something we would consider.”
Despite it being pointed out that cheese toasties aren’t burgers or chips, the council stood its ground and would only allow cold food.
If we’re reading this correctly, cheese toastie vans lead to truancy – truancy leads to anti-social behaviour – anti-social behaviour leads to motorcycle gangs. Bristol Council is the anti-Yoda.
Of course, piss-taking happened.
There’s no angry people in this, but nobody needs to be reminded of the horror of the Bristol cheese toastie wars of the 1970s to accept that this is the best decision. https://t.co/ZgUWrMEeGP pic.twitter.com/HEwzmq71xc
— Angry People in Local Newspapers (@angrypiln) January 13, 2021
Big up the Steak Slice Crew!https://t.co/0ItGdrU1XQ
— Striped Fruit Esq. (@StripedFruit) January 8, 2019
Ladies and gentlemen… Bristol. A town full of roving gangs of drunken bikers on the look out for cheese toasty wagons. Imagine The Warriors with added dairy.https://t.co/Af1okKnZzV
— Ben Reed (@darkbreed) January 9, 2019
Please tell me how I can join the cheese toastie gang https://t.co/w6j4wniSQe
— Gemma Parry (@GemmaParry4) January 9, 2019
Really? Coffee and ice cream are OK but cheese toasties aren't? They are innocent I tell you, innocent, they don't cause anti-social behaviour! And probably healthier than ice cream…#cheesetoastiesareinnocenthttps://t.co/NwrgG92v00
— emf (@maddog_findlay) January 9, 2019
"Breville Breville, your toastie's a mess…"
— Enough Of That Now (@AndyGilder) January 13, 2021
Writer, Rachel Hawkins, asked the question on all our minds.
Is it April 1st?
— Rachel Hawkins (@ourrachblogs) January 10, 2019
Reader – it was not.
READ MORE
Source Bristol Post Image Wikimedia Commons, Wikimedia Commons
